Leo's official first day at "school" went went well...for both Leo and me. Not stellar. Not horrific. But, well.
Leo cried on cue when I handed him over to the most fantastic toddler teacher I've ever met (which, of course made me cry - not the leaving him with a fantastic teacher but the leo crying part...but, again, his crying did make me feel like Leo and I have truly bonded - and that thought my friends is what got me through the day (along with the big hug and reassurance I got from Leo's teacher as I left).
I tried to stay positive on the ride into work...and it must have worked a bit. There was a voice mail message awaiting me when I got to my desk from this terrific teacher of Leo's - he had stopped crying played a bit and was now enjoying breakfast. Perfect. I could make it through the day with that image in my head.
Leo enjoyed all the activities...just had difficulty and tears with the transitions during the day, which it totally normal and expected. (And, I don't blame him - it would be really scary to be stuffed into your snowsuit by a stranger and led outside without your mom or dad around with no clue as to what was going on or where you were going.) Leo may have carried around his picture book of us all day and enjoyed being the teacher's little shadow, but he ate and he napped and he wasn't crying when I picked him up. Which means I think the day went well. So, we have another brave and courageous big boy in the house. And, we have one day under our belt with high hopes that things just get better and better each day.
[Now, I just hope that this terrific teacher drilled it into Leo's head that he's supposed to sleep through the entire night AND stay in his crib...this climbing/falling out of the crib is just not cool - too stressful for the Mama.]
But I have to say the best part of my day...aside from picking up my boys from school...was getting home to find a special little gift in the mail from my BFF (& Leo's Godmother) - a fun card of encouragement for this transition week and the most amazing and thoughtful gift. I am so incredibly blessed. Thank you Cas!!!
Until next time...I'm taking bets on when you think Leo will sleep through the night again (and crossing my fingers that it's tonight)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
blink of an eye
Just over three months ago I was tying up loose ends at work, booking last minute flights and hotel reservations, figuring out what summer clothes to pack into bags, and flying half way around the world to bring home our son. Well...I must have blinked because there is snow on the ground, I am wearing a down coat daily, I am the mother of two amazing boys...and I go back to work tomorrow. They say the sign of a good time is that the time goes by quickly - well, we must have had an INCREDIBLE time. And, quite honestly, at this very moment I wish I had another three months (and probably another three after that) to spend alone with Leo three days a week. But, the real world calls (which in a matter of weeks I know will be better for everyone, but right now I think it rather sucks) and this real world will undoubtedly allow me to be a better mom having some adult time and accomplishments at work and by providing Leo [eventually] with the benefit from being around kids his own age and learning lots of new things in new ways from other caring adults.
I am THANKFUL for the time I had with Leo (especially so knowing my employer could have only granted me six weeks by law...but I was blessed with twelve) . I am thankful for all the love and support we received while I was on leave and enjoying all the newness of becoming a family of four - the good and the bad. And, I am thankful that going back to work means going back to a job-share situation where I get to work three days a week and still spend two days home with my boys. I have a feeling I am going to have a renewed sense of gratefulness for those specials days home with my boys in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
Leo officially starts "school" tomorrow...last Wednesday's trial run could have gone much better. I was not a fan of the "Leo's not doing so well phone call" that I got. I was a wreck...planning to do spreadsheets and figure out how I can stay home with the boys full-time. But, I know that there isn't a kid out there that likes going to daycare the first few weeks (if yours did, please do not tell me - I'd prefer to live in denial) and that I need to allow some time for both Leo and I to get used to this new situation and routine. So last Wednesday while he did fine with the drop off and initial story time he hated the getting ready to go outside and be outside part; he wasn't a fan of not getting all the attention he's used to and being held whenever he wanted; and he probably only fell asleep for nap because he was exhausted from crying so much - which only lasted for 30 minutes because he heard a door close. BUT, on the bright side he loved meal times (I had no doubt) and he loved art (which I knew he loved to scribble, but had no idea that pasting was such a passion of his). And, he LOVED that his big brother for just down the hall ready to come down and give a hug or have snack with if necessary (which it was). So, that's what I am going to focus on and remember throughout the day tomorrow and work days to come: Drew is there for his little brother; and there's always art to keep Leo's mind and hands occupied (plus, for tomorrow, the fact that Tuesday is a "Mommy & Boys Day" - I just need to work one day). And, that both he and I will get used to this new way of doing things in time.
I am THANKFUL for the time I had with Leo (especially so knowing my employer could have only granted me six weeks by law...but I was blessed with twelve) . I am thankful for all the love and support we received while I was on leave and enjoying all the newness of becoming a family of four - the good and the bad. And, I am thankful that going back to work means going back to a job-share situation where I get to work three days a week and still spend two days home with my boys. I have a feeling I am going to have a renewed sense of gratefulness for those specials days home with my boys in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
Leo officially starts "school" tomorrow...last Wednesday's trial run could have gone much better. I was not a fan of the "Leo's not doing so well phone call" that I got. I was a wreck...planning to do spreadsheets and figure out how I can stay home with the boys full-time. But, I know that there isn't a kid out there that likes going to daycare the first few weeks (if yours did, please do not tell me - I'd prefer to live in denial) and that I need to allow some time for both Leo and I to get used to this new situation and routine. So last Wednesday while he did fine with the drop off and initial story time he hated the getting ready to go outside and be outside part; he wasn't a fan of not getting all the attention he's used to and being held whenever he wanted; and he probably only fell asleep for nap because he was exhausted from crying so much - which only lasted for 30 minutes because he heard a door close. BUT, on the bright side he loved meal times (I had no doubt) and he loved art (which I knew he loved to scribble, but had no idea that pasting was such a passion of his). And, he LOVED that his big brother for just down the hall ready to come down and give a hug or have snack with if necessary (which it was). So, that's what I am going to focus on and remember throughout the day tomorrow and work days to come: Drew is there for his little brother; and there's always art to keep Leo's mind and hands occupied (plus, for tomorrow, the fact that Tuesday is a "Mommy & Boys Day" - I just need to work one day). And, that both he and I will get used to this new way of doing things in time.
 |
| what a beautiful bird! |
I am also so thankful that my leave ended with four fun family days in a row that were filed with cooking and ice skating and shopping and football and friends and first (bad) American haircuts and including Leo in our family tradition of cutting down our Christmas tree. [even if i was a crazy mess the entire weekend stressed about going back to work and spending Leo back to the place that he cried all day and finishing up some projects and doing laundry and cleaning and goodness me i need help!] Pictures are to come...just not now...I have to wake up to an alarm clock for the first time in three months in the morning. Time for bed.
Until next time...don't blink - so much can happen in three months!!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
supported
Amazing friends.
Amazing support.
A haircut. (finally)
Summer Day on repeat.
Those are all things that got me through the rest of the week...and trust me, the week got a lot a little worse before it got better. But, thanks to all those that reached out to me with encouraging words (that there's more than one worst mom in the world at any given moment - hehe-haha; that four year olds can really be tough - that's their job; that we moms are stronger than we think we are; and that the big guy upstairs has things under control and to just have faith), I know things are going to work out just fine. Sometime. Sometime soon, I hope.
One of the biggest mood changers for me was from a friend I met last October while in our Pre-Adoption Class. They have been waiting eleven months to receive their referral for their daughter. It came this week and I am so, incredibly happy and excited for them!! Somehow, that news just put things back into perspective and reminded me of all the happiness and joy that surrounds me...and us...daily that can often get overlooked. I look forward to their updates and supporting them during this phase of their journey. (I think it also helped that her message also reassured me that her two boys have gone and are going through some of the exact same stuff Drew is - and she's surviving; so, I know I can survive this time too). Thank you my friend!!
Now...to help erase my bad week, I am trying to off-load some extra pictures I have. If anyone would like a copy of one of these in their Christmas card, just let me know. Quantities are somewhat limited (33 of the first and 17 of the second) - so act fast.
Until next time...this week is all about being thankful!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
the real me...right now
While many in blog-land go wordless on Wednesdays...not me. Not today...there's too much swirling around in my head. My leave from work is quickly coming to an end...and in many ways I have no clue where the time went or what the heck we did. There was so much I was going to do...so many people I was going to see...but somehow, I managed to only accomplish "so much" and didn't do it all. And, because I am that type of, it just wasn't enough. I failed.
Leo's blanket still needs to be sewn together (first I need to put my new sewing machine together).
Pennants were going to be hung in Leo's room (still need to be cut out, sewn, and hung).
Christmas shopping was going to be done by the time I went back to work (not a gift list started or a gift purchased).
Pictures from Korea were going to be put in frames and books (they at least got ordered and are sitting on the dining room table - including 33 copies of a really bad picture and 17 copies of another bad and insignificant picture due to the haste in which i ordered them - just to be able to "cross it off the to do list").
Thoughtful letters and emails would be written to those I've been missing and need to catch-up with (instead short replies from my sweet little smart phone).
There's too many people I failed to get together with for coffee, lunch, or a weekend gathering (and that's fun stuff to do that i couldn't even get it done).
Important blog posts remain unwritten (namely, i missed sharing about Leo's 15 month milestone and the one year anniversary of this blog)
You get the idea.
And, as lovely and perfect as I make our life to be here on the blog, I am sure you are thinking "how on earth wasn't she able to get those things done?!" Well...life has not been all prefect and rosy in our household since we got back from Korea...not by a long shot. For me, this blog captures the "big picture" - as it should. It serves the purpose of keeping me focused on the good times as well as what's important in life...so in that sense, it truly is providing an accurate reflection of all the good things going on. But, it therefore also has had a weakness of not always highlighting the trying times like maybe it ought to...'cause those are important memories and feelings too.
For instance...just in the last week (or so) I have:
1. questioned my parenting abilities too many times to count
2. broken Drew's bike training wheel when it fell out of the back of the vehicle when I opened the tailgate (if it had not been 70 degrees in November, we would not have gone for the bike ride and this would not have happened) and, of course, need to special order it's replacement
3. locked the keys in the vehicle...and realized this in the parking lot with a cart full of refrigerated and frozen items...and just in time for lunch/nap
4. incurred a parking lot accident with only my vehicle getting damaged
5. ripped a hole in the knee of my favorite jeans
6. gotten a bill for the full amount of Leo's doctor visit (this is the second time I've gotten this bill, I already questioned it once with the insurance company) - it's a ridiculous amount!!! (and, just so you know, i did check with the insurance company prior to the appointment to make sure the provider was in the network and that the services were covered; they were useless in providing me any information and i am now quite embarrassed to work for an medical insurance company and, most likely, be stuck with this bill despite asking the right questions at the right time. so pissed)
7. been head-butted by my youngest son more than once
8. been called names and screamed at by my oldest son on multiple occasions ("favorite" names being 'stupid head' and 'poopy breath')
9. lost the effectiveness of giving a time-out
10. worried about a child that has a fever, is throwing up, and not sleeping like he has been for quite some time at nap or during the night thanks to immunizations, teething, and who know what else
11. cried...more than once...or twice
I am up to my [tear-swelling] eyeballs with much around me...I have no idea what's going on, but really, there's only so much a girl can take. Or, maybe I do know some of the stuff that's making me bonkers.............
Drew...oh, sweet boy, where did you go?! On more occasions than not (and especially on those two days a week that I'm home with both boys), he is a complete pain in my buttocks. I get it. I do. There's a new little dude in the house that needs a lot of attention which therefore means attention is not always being given to the big brother. It sucks for me too...I hate that there's so much independent play for Drew on what has been, for the last 2 years "Mommy & Drew days", that it breaks my heart. But, Drew's not listening, screaming, crying, name-calling tantrums have got to stop...these outbursts break my heart even more- and my putting him in time-out what seems like constantly really, really just kills me. (and with the high pitched screams that Drew does and has now taught Leo, I feel like the worst mom in the whole world. Just terrible. I want my Drew back.)
Leo starts "school" next Wednesday for one practice day before he starts the standard three day week beginning on the 29th. I am dreading the whole going back to work thing...maybe mostly because I fear that I am going to have two boys acting like Drew currently is because I really won't have the time to be giving either of them the attention they deserve. I know the attachment is there and that Leo will love being around other kids and experiencing a new (and probably more fun) routine, but with that change comes fears and worries on my part that we have not done enough to help him feel safe and secure - with us or those that we leave him in the care of. I worry that all we've accomplished in three months will just vanish away and we will have to start over, only this time with less time together and a larger cast of characters. This is life, I know. But, I've been rather liking life as I've been knowing it over the past three months (tantrums and all).
So...that's a small taste of the real world going on here. My stress, worry, guilt and frustrations. Typical I am sure. Hopefully, now that it's out there, my outlook will turn a little more rosy and life can be a little more happier for all in the household.
Until next time...steer clear of me in parking lots and don't be surprised if I am wearing ear plugs (or hearing aids) the next time you see me.
Leo's blanket still needs to be sewn together (first I need to put my new sewing machine together).
Pennants were going to be hung in Leo's room (still need to be cut out, sewn, and hung).
Christmas shopping was going to be done by the time I went back to work (not a gift list started or a gift purchased).
Pictures from Korea were going to be put in frames and books (they at least got ordered and are sitting on the dining room table - including 33 copies of a really bad picture and 17 copies of another bad and insignificant picture due to the haste in which i ordered them - just to be able to "cross it off the to do list").
Thoughtful letters and emails would be written to those I've been missing and need to catch-up with (instead short replies from my sweet little smart phone).
There's too many people I failed to get together with for coffee, lunch, or a weekend gathering (and that's fun stuff to do that i couldn't even get it done).
Important blog posts remain unwritten (namely, i missed sharing about Leo's 15 month milestone and the one year anniversary of this blog)
You get the idea.
And, as lovely and perfect as I make our life to be here on the blog, I am sure you are thinking "how on earth wasn't she able to get those things done?!" Well...life has not been all prefect and rosy in our household since we got back from Korea...not by a long shot. For me, this blog captures the "big picture" - as it should. It serves the purpose of keeping me focused on the good times as well as what's important in life...so in that sense, it truly is providing an accurate reflection of all the good things going on. But, it therefore also has had a weakness of not always highlighting the trying times like maybe it ought to...'cause those are important memories and feelings too.
For instance...just in the last week (or so) I have:
1. questioned my parenting abilities too many times to count
2. broken Drew's bike training wheel when it fell out of the back of the vehicle when I opened the tailgate (if it had not been 70 degrees in November, we would not have gone for the bike ride and this would not have happened) and, of course, need to special order it's replacement
3. locked the keys in the vehicle...and realized this in the parking lot with a cart full of refrigerated and frozen items...and just in time for lunch/nap
4. incurred a parking lot accident with only my vehicle getting damaged
5. ripped a hole in the knee of my favorite jeans
6. gotten a bill for the full amount of Leo's doctor visit (this is the second time I've gotten this bill, I already questioned it once with the insurance company) - it's a ridiculous amount!!! (and, just so you know, i did check with the insurance company prior to the appointment to make sure the provider was in the network and that the services were covered; they were useless in providing me any information and i am now quite embarrassed to work for an medical insurance company and, most likely, be stuck with this bill despite asking the right questions at the right time. so pissed)
7. been head-butted by my youngest son more than once
8. been called names and screamed at by my oldest son on multiple occasions ("favorite" names being 'stupid head' and 'poopy breath')
9. lost the effectiveness of giving a time-out
10. worried about a child that has a fever, is throwing up, and not sleeping like he has been for quite some time at nap or during the night thanks to immunizations, teething, and who know what else
11. cried...more than once...or twice
I am up to my [tear-swelling] eyeballs with much around me...I have no idea what's going on, but really, there's only so much a girl can take. Or, maybe I do know some of the stuff that's making me bonkers.............
Drew...oh, sweet boy, where did you go?! On more occasions than not (and especially on those two days a week that I'm home with both boys), he is a complete pain in my buttocks. I get it. I do. There's a new little dude in the house that needs a lot of attention which therefore means attention is not always being given to the big brother. It sucks for me too...I hate that there's so much independent play for Drew on what has been, for the last 2 years "Mommy & Drew days", that it breaks my heart. But, Drew's not listening, screaming, crying, name-calling tantrums have got to stop...these outbursts break my heart even more- and my putting him in time-out what seems like constantly really, really just kills me. (and with the high pitched screams that Drew does and has now taught Leo, I feel like the worst mom in the whole world. Just terrible. I want my Drew back.)
Leo starts "school" next Wednesday for one practice day before he starts the standard three day week beginning on the 29th. I am dreading the whole going back to work thing...maybe mostly because I fear that I am going to have two boys acting like Drew currently is because I really won't have the time to be giving either of them the attention they deserve. I know the attachment is there and that Leo will love being around other kids and experiencing a new (and probably more fun) routine, but with that change comes fears and worries on my part that we have not done enough to help him feel safe and secure - with us or those that we leave him in the care of. I worry that all we've accomplished in three months will just vanish away and we will have to start over, only this time with less time together and a larger cast of characters. This is life, I know. But, I've been rather liking life as I've been knowing it over the past three months (tantrums and all).
So...that's a small taste of the real world going on here. My stress, worry, guilt and frustrations. Typical I am sure. Hopefully, now that it's out there, my outlook will turn a little more rosy and life can be a little more happier for all in the household.
Until next time...steer clear of me in parking lots and don't be surprised if I am wearing ear plugs (or hearing aids) the next time you see me.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
winter day
They weren't kidding...winter has arrived!!
First thing Drew did this morning was look outside to see if it really did snow...and sure enough there was plenty of snow out there to play in! Breakfast was eaten in record time. And, by 9:00am the boys were ready to play outside. It only took about 30 minutes to find and put on all the snow pants, winter jackets, boots, mittens/gloves, hats, and scarves. And before we knew it we were outside in the heavy wet snow...pure heaven for my two boys!!
If this was the first time Leo saw snow, it did not phase him one bit. He dived right in and had no trouble walking or laying in it. He even begged and screamed to help shovel - which is kinda tricky to do with little mittens on...so off came the mittens!!!
It is a real blizzard out there (and still is & expected to be until Sunday morning - 10+ total inches expected)...so we didn't spend too much time out there. But, I see a lot of time outside tomorrow building a whole family of snowmen and sledding down the hill.
Until next time...get outside and enjoy the weather where ever you are (or stay inside and enjoy some cookies & hot cocoa like we are)!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
summer day
The Twin Cities are under their first Winter Storm Watch of the season...up to 12 inches possible tonight and tomorrow. I am so not ready for this...though, I know I can't really complain - it has been the most amazing fall ever. {and I am quite certain Drew will be excited to play in all that snow...and how cool will it be to watch Leo explore all that white stuff for the first time!}
I want to hold on to summer and our summer-like fall for so many reasons...namely because summer 2010 was full of the anticipation and reality of traveling to Korea as a family to meet Leo and bring him home...as well as the months of getting to know each other. Thankfully, through music there is a way to hold onto all those emotions and happy times.
Sheryl Crow's Summer Day has been played in this house, in our cars, on our ipods, and at the office more times than i can count over the past half dozen months. It's a catchy little tune that spoke to me as I waited
Until next time...let is snow, let it snow, let is snow - and let your love shine!
I want to hold on to summer and our summer-like fall for so many reasons...namely because summer 2010 was full of the anticipation and reality of traveling to Korea as a family to meet Leo and bring him home...as well as the months of getting to know each other. Thankfully, through music there is a way to hold onto all those emotions and happy times.
Sheryl Crow's Summer Day has been played in this house, in our cars, on our ipods, and at the office more times than i can count over the past half dozen months. It's a catchy little tune that spoke to me as I waited
Every little thing that I felt that day
Never will forget, there was love in the air
I wasn't looking for love to come my way
Ooh baby baby but then I saw you there
That Summer day that I recall
You came into my life
And you gave me hope and love
I just want to be where you want me to
That Summer day that changed it all
You came into my life
And you let me fall in love
My baby I just want to be with you
I just want to let it shine
I just want to let it shine
I just want to let it shine
Did you ever think you knew everything?
Did you ever think you had it all figured out?
Ooh baby baby
You know things can change
That Summer day that I recall
You came into my life
And you gave me hope and love
Can you hear me, baby?
When I say I'm for you
I knew we could make it
The moment you came into my life
Don't you know that you keep me shinin'
That Summer day that I recall
You came into my life
And you gave me hope and love
I just want to be where you want me to
That Summer day that changed it all
You came into my life
And you let me fall in love
My baby I just want to be with you
Never will forget, there was love in the air
I wasn't looking for love to come my way
Ooh baby baby but then I saw you there
That Summer day that I recall
You came into my life
And you gave me hope and love
I just want to be where you want me to
That Summer day that changed it all
You came into my life
And you let me fall in love
My baby I just want to be with you
I just want to let it shine
I just want to let it shine
I just want to let it shine
Did you ever think you knew everything?
Did you ever think you had it all figured out?
Ooh baby baby
You know things can change
That Summer day that I recall
You came into my life
And you gave me hope and love
Can you hear me, baby?
When I say I'm for you
I knew we could make it
The moment you came into my life
Don't you know that you keep me shinin'
That Summer day that I recall
You came into my life
And you gave me hope and love
I just want to be where you want me to
That Summer day that changed it all
You came into my life
And you let me fall in love
My baby I just want to be with you
And, as Leo is now home with us...this is the cure-all song. The song that we all can dance to and listen to t set our moods straight. It's the first song we saw Leo dance to...and the song two brothers have used to bond. And, it's the song that will forever remind me of a summer of waiting and bringing home my baby.
Until next time...let is snow, let it snow, let is snow - and let your love shine!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
art
Last Saturday we ventured to the Walker Art Center. We'd past the museum numerous times, and the last time we did Drew said he'd really like to go there someday. So we did...and we just happened to go on a Family Free day which, I thought would make the trip that much more enjoyable. But, I quickly learned that an art museum is not the place for my boys (at least, not at this time). There were many, many, cultured, polished, and arty families there...we were the bulls running through the china shop - er, art museum.
Granted, much of the noise and commotion Leo made was because he was excited and wanted to get the heck out of the carrier and explore the place like a wild little toddler. And, while I am somewhat used to his screams and cries in my ear - I was not prepared for the echoing of squeals of delight and excitement bouncing from gallery wall to gallery wall and into my ear over and over again. The little guy just wanted down - there was room to run and goofy "art" all over the place!
And, poor Drew...we were like a broken record telling him to stay away from the walls, do not run, and don't touch anything for we were being constantly watched by those darn straight faced workers in every room. It was this last unheeded warning - don't touch - that finally drove us straight down the elevator and to the parking garage. Drew found something he thought he could touch, a wooden catering table, and ran his hand on it only to get the world's absolute wost splinter (in his mind). Didn't you hear the screams last Saturday where you live?!? Unfortunately, we did not make a clean get-away...we took the elevator and it made an unscheduled stopped on a floor to pick up some snooty family - the dad actually said to us (as Drew is still screaming and crying) "I knew we'd be able to find you guys again"...he was not laughing when he said it either. All I could think was GET.US.OUT.OF.HERE!
But, before all of that..we were able to enjoy looking at 10,000 puzzle pieces, swinging in hammocks while listening to Jimmy Hendrix, details of art while looking through binoculars, green umbrellas hanging from the ceiling, and much, much more. And, thankfully I was able to get a few pictures.
Granted, much of the noise and commotion Leo made was because he was excited and wanted to get the heck out of the carrier and explore the place like a wild little toddler. And, while I am somewhat used to his screams and cries in my ear - I was not prepared for the echoing of squeals of delight and excitement bouncing from gallery wall to gallery wall and into my ear over and over again. The little guy just wanted down - there was room to run and goofy "art" all over the place!
And, poor Drew...we were like a broken record telling him to stay away from the walls, do not run, and don't touch anything for we were being constantly watched by those darn straight faced workers in every room. It was this last unheeded warning - don't touch - that finally drove us straight down the elevator and to the parking garage. Drew found something he thought he could touch, a wooden catering table, and ran his hand on it only to get the world's absolute wost splinter (in his mind). Didn't you hear the screams last Saturday where you live?!? Unfortunately, we did not make a clean get-away...we took the elevator and it made an unscheduled stopped on a floor to pick up some snooty family - the dad actually said to us (as Drew is still screaming and crying) "I knew we'd be able to find you guys again"...he was not laughing when he said it either. All I could think was GET.US.OUT.OF.HERE!
But, before all of that..we were able to enjoy looking at 10,000 puzzle pieces, swinging in hammocks while listening to Jimmy Hendrix, details of art while looking through binoculars, green umbrellas hanging from the ceiling, and much, much more. And, thankfully I was able to get a few pictures.
 |
| yep....there's 10,000 wooden puzzle pieces on this table |
 |
| chillin' with jimmy hendrix & a slide show |
 |
| swinging in the green hammock (leo had a very bad hair day, very bad) |
 |
| taking a moment to say "shhhhh!" during the middle of a loud scream |
 |
| lots to see up close |
 |
| almost got it! |
 |
| spinning art |
So...while the adventure did not go AT ALL how I had hoped, I now know that there are other ways to enjoy art with my boys...like the art they create on a warm November day on the driveway with chalk. There's plenty of time for fancy museums and their enthusiasts some other day/month/year.
Until next time...remember to see the beauty...and art... in all your days.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
alright
Eight weeks.
Leo joined our family eight weeks ago and I continue to be in awe of the ease at which he has melded into our family. Leo's personality continues to come out and shine - he is bold and daring (we could have named him Knievel); he is sweet and gentle (he picks up bugs like they are fine china); he is curious and smart (he likes to take our finger and lead us to what he needs help with or with what he wants to show us by using our finger to point); and he is seriously funny and loves his music (peek-a-boo creates some of the best laughs i have ever heard and music and dancing solve all his problems).
When you are in the long waiting process, thoughts and worries come and go in and out of our head. For me, I worried a lot about how adoption would affect Drew...and how living in the "wish-it-were-more-diverse" community that we do and adopting a child from Korea would affect both my sons. Slowly, I am learning that this is a mothers' worry that will never completely go away - it's my job to worry...to protect...to prepare...and to pray that everything will be alright.
Throughout our adoption journey there were "signs" every step of the way that showed us that things were "alright"...big milestones such as application submissions, pre-adoption class, our official waiting date, referral acceptance, and EP approval all fell on a significant birthday or anniversary. Now that Leo is home...I've wondered how I'm going to know that things are still "alright"...will I get any signs? I now know that if I pray for reassurance, I will get it. Over the past weeks I've gotten my signs:
Drew will be alright.
After much angst on my part, we switched Drew to a new "school" this past May - it was torture for me to move him from the place and friends that he'd known since he was four months old. But, things just were not right there on so many levels. It took a while, but Drew (and Damon & I) now LOVE his new "school". His teacher is amazing...he looks forward to "school' days...and has made some really great friends. One of these friends (his best friend) invited him to his 5th birthday party at a local theme restaurant - and of course he went. I had seen this friend's mom during pick-up before, but did not really know her or the boy very well...I just new that this boy and Drew are inseparable at "school". I dropped Drew off at the party...and he and this boy gave each other the biggest hug I'd ever seen a 4 or 5 year old boy give each other and then talked to the mom a bit. During that conversation, she said she'd heard we had just adopted...congratulated us...and then continued to say that she didn't know if I knew or not, but her (birthday boy) son was adopted. He was adopted domestically at birth. She said that he knows he was adopted but she doesn't know how much he really understands yet. All I could say was..."now he has a friend who understands a little more than other people will". As I left the restaurant with tears swelling in my eyes and a smile on my face, I knew that things were going to be "alright". How comforting to know another family in the immediate area that grew through adoption. And, seriously what are the odds that Drew's best friend right now would be adopted? I mean really. A big huge sign that our family is more "normal" than I often think it is...and a big huge sign that things will be alright.
Leo will be alright.
The next night we went to out to dinner. For whatever reason we put both boys on one side of the table and we sat next to each other for a change. As we were enjoying our dinner (as much as one can enjoy a dinner out with a 4 year old and a 1 year old as they cry & whine and we have to try and cut up their food faster than they shovel it into their mouths so you can have some of your own dinner before they are finished), in came a family that sat down at the table in front of Damon and I. A white couple in their sixties and their adult son (Korean) sat facing us and with their backs to us were the couple's adult daughter (Korean) and the son's wife. This is not a common sighting in our community - they were obviously on their way back from Up North. They were happy and engaged in conversation. I felt like I was looking into a crystal ball that was showing me part of our future - a grown up Leo, happy and married and still enjoying the company of his parents. And, it was alright! [the son looked a little uncomfortable at first seeing us - like he was looking in a mirror that was showing him his life 20-some years ago...until Leo turned around and made friends. it was awesome.]
We're all going to be alright.
And, if that were not enough reassurance from the big guy upstairs...we finally met a family that lives in our neighborhood at the new neighborhood park [which i am beginning to think was built solely for the purpose of this story - now that my purpose on the park & rec commission is understood & accomplished, maybe it's time to quit?!]. On some of our nightly family walks before we went to Seoul to bring Leo home we had seen a multicultural family (mom is white, dad is asian) and had exchanged pleasantries, but no real conversation. That changed at the park one day this October. The dad was there with his kids and saw Damon and I chasing Leo around. He asked how old Leo was - I told him. He asked Leo name - I told him. He commented on how much hair Leo had - I laughed. He introduced me to his kids (a toddler & a baby) and that was that...Until the next week when I was going for a walk with Leo in the middle of the day and ran into this dad and another dad that we know - they were taking there kids to the park. He remembered me and Leo - and then asked if Leo was Korean. I said yes, and that we'd been home for just over a month. He asked where he was born - I told him Busan. He said that's where is sister was born and that he was born in Seoul. He asked what Leo's Korean name was and he told me his - and that they Americanized it to name his son. All I could think was "it's going to be alright"...here is a happy, friendly, outgoing adult Korean adoptee with a lovely family living right here in my neighborhood. Things are definitely going to be alright. Better than alright. As the days and months and years go by...things are going to be even more incredible.awesome. wonderful.amazing.OUTSTANDING.
Until next time...somebody is another month older!
Leo joined our family eight weeks ago and I continue to be in awe of the ease at which he has melded into our family. Leo's personality continues to come out and shine - he is bold and daring (we could have named him Knievel); he is sweet and gentle (he picks up bugs like they are fine china); he is curious and smart (he likes to take our finger and lead us to what he needs help with or with what he wants to show us by using our finger to point); and he is seriously funny and loves his music (peek-a-boo creates some of the best laughs i have ever heard and music and dancing solve all his problems).
When you are in the long waiting process, thoughts and worries come and go in and out of our head. For me, I worried a lot about how adoption would affect Drew...and how living in the "wish-it-were-more-diverse" community that we do and adopting a child from Korea would affect both my sons. Slowly, I am learning that this is a mothers' worry that will never completely go away - it's my job to worry...to protect...to prepare...and to pray that everything will be alright.
Throughout our adoption journey there were "signs" every step of the way that showed us that things were "alright"...big milestones such as application submissions, pre-adoption class, our official waiting date, referral acceptance, and EP approval all fell on a significant birthday or anniversary. Now that Leo is home...I've wondered how I'm going to know that things are still "alright"...will I get any signs? I now know that if I pray for reassurance, I will get it. Over the past weeks I've gotten my signs:
Drew will be alright.
After much angst on my part, we switched Drew to a new "school" this past May - it was torture for me to move him from the place and friends that he'd known since he was four months old. But, things just were not right there on so many levels. It took a while, but Drew (and Damon & I) now LOVE his new "school". His teacher is amazing...he looks forward to "school' days...and has made some really great friends. One of these friends (his best friend) invited him to his 5th birthday party at a local theme restaurant - and of course he went. I had seen this friend's mom during pick-up before, but did not really know her or the boy very well...I just new that this boy and Drew are inseparable at "school". I dropped Drew off at the party...and he and this boy gave each other the biggest hug I'd ever seen a 4 or 5 year old boy give each other and then talked to the mom a bit. During that conversation, she said she'd heard we had just adopted...congratulated us...and then continued to say that she didn't know if I knew or not, but her (birthday boy) son was adopted. He was adopted domestically at birth. She said that he knows he was adopted but she doesn't know how much he really understands yet. All I could say was..."now he has a friend who understands a little more than other people will". As I left the restaurant with tears swelling in my eyes and a smile on my face, I knew that things were going to be "alright". How comforting to know another family in the immediate area that grew through adoption. And, seriously what are the odds that Drew's best friend right now would be adopted? I mean really. A big huge sign that our family is more "normal" than I often think it is...and a big huge sign that things will be alright.
Leo will be alright.
The next night we went to out to dinner. For whatever reason we put both boys on one side of the table and we sat next to each other for a change. As we were enjoying our dinner (as much as one can enjoy a dinner out with a 4 year old and a 1 year old as they cry & whine and we have to try and cut up their food faster than they shovel it into their mouths so you can have some of your own dinner before they are finished), in came a family that sat down at the table in front of Damon and I. A white couple in their sixties and their adult son (Korean) sat facing us and with their backs to us were the couple's adult daughter (Korean) and the son's wife. This is not a common sighting in our community - they were obviously on their way back from Up North. They were happy and engaged in conversation. I felt like I was looking into a crystal ball that was showing me part of our future - a grown up Leo, happy and married and still enjoying the company of his parents. And, it was alright! [the son looked a little uncomfortable at first seeing us - like he was looking in a mirror that was showing him his life 20-some years ago...until Leo turned around and made friends. it was awesome.]
We're all going to be alright.
And, if that were not enough reassurance from the big guy upstairs...we finally met a family that lives in our neighborhood at the new neighborhood park [which i am beginning to think was built solely for the purpose of this story - now that my purpose on the park & rec commission is understood & accomplished, maybe it's time to quit?!]. On some of our nightly family walks before we went to Seoul to bring Leo home we had seen a multicultural family (mom is white, dad is asian) and had exchanged pleasantries, but no real conversation. That changed at the park one day this October. The dad was there with his kids and saw Damon and I chasing Leo around. He asked how old Leo was - I told him. He asked Leo name - I told him. He commented on how much hair Leo had - I laughed. He introduced me to his kids (a toddler & a baby) and that was that...Until the next week when I was going for a walk with Leo in the middle of the day and ran into this dad and another dad that we know - they were taking there kids to the park. He remembered me and Leo - and then asked if Leo was Korean. I said yes, and that we'd been home for just over a month. He asked where he was born - I told him Busan. He said that's where is sister was born and that he was born in Seoul. He asked what Leo's Korean name was and he told me his - and that they Americanized it to name his son. All I could think was "it's going to be alright"...here is a happy, friendly, outgoing adult Korean adoptee with a lovely family living right here in my neighborhood. Things are definitely going to be alright. Better than alright. As the days and months and years go by...things are going to be even more incredible.awesome. wonderful.amazing.OUTSTANDING.
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| one special and lovable little dude! |
Monday, November 1, 2010
fall traditions
We just love fall. All the traditions and festivities that go along with it...heading out to the apple orchard...taking a tractor-trailer ride through the farm and woods...finding the perfect pumpkin in the big pumpkin patch...finding our way through a corn {or wheat} maze...Friday Night Lights, dressing up as our favorite animal, hero, or character for Halloween...spending time with friends and neighbors...baking pies {yummy apple pies} and finally wrapping up the season by giving thanks for all the gifts we've been given on Thanksgiving.
And, fall is definitely a time to connect as a family...and that's surely what we've been doing over the past month. Leo's first October with us has been nothing short of amazing. Really, the only thing that hasn't been "amazing" is our ability to capture some of the best moments on camera due to Leo's eagerness to be ON.THE.MOVE!! (and when we can, there's no doubt he's wearing a bib to catch all his drool) But, that's ok. I'm learning to take better and longer lasting mental pictures of our little dude and all his adventures and accomplishments.
Earlier in the month we headed to our favorite pumpkin patch...while there were many, many gorgeous days in October - we did not go on one of the best; it was chilly & windy. Brr! Regardless, we enjoyed the tractors, rides, petting zoo, the wheat maze and found FOUR perfect pumpkins.
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| farmer drew |
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| have yet to meet an animal leo doesn't like (he loved this goat) |
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| this was the only way i could get leo to sit still - look at that big foot! |
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| waiting for the tractor ride to start |
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| in the wheat maze looking for the golden nugget |
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| golden nugget: FOUND |
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| pulling the wagon |
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| drew - just as he slid his hand on the pumpkin stem getting pickers (which led to our immediate departure - oh the tears & crying!) |
This October we've also jumped on a bandwagon...the Royals football bandwagon! Our local high school football team is undefeated and we've gone to a few games to cheer them on. It's been fun to be a part of the community...and the enthusiasm is definitely contagious! GO ROYALS!
The Halloween weekend started off with a special delivery from Granny & Pop...an incredible package from Michigan filled with lots of fun goodies for both Drew and Leo. There were lots of fun books [Spiderman and more MagicTreeHouse for Drew and Duck & Goose and Corduroy for Leo (leo thinks Duck & Goose are hilarious and belly laughs anytime we read the book - that cracks me up!)], a cute Halloween bucket, candy (which Leo will carry around in his fist until it's nothing but a melted chocolate mess), and other fun stuff. Thanks Granny & Pop!!
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| leo eager to see what's inside |
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| a bucket of candy & a candy bar meeting it's fate in leo's right hand (& a pirate ship under the soaked bib) |
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| drew LOVES his 'jack & annie' books |
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| leo actually sitting in one spot & looking at a book! (ta-da! the soaked pirate ship shirt!) |
We spent the night before Halloween partying with the neighbors at their 70's themed Halloween party. Some of us lasted longer than others - Leo & I, sadly, made an early exit. And, sadly, no pictures were taken of me...despite my very cool dress.
There is one fall family tradition that stayed intact - leaving our pumpkins intact. Damon and I have gone to the pumpkin patch together every year we've been together...yet have never managed to carve our pumpkins. Who knows why...we always say we are going to...but never do. The one exception was last year, we actually carved two (drew painted his) - namely so we could cook up some spicy pumpkin seeds. Well, this year it was back to tradition...our pumpkins were spared from the knife. [though, i admit, we thought, about carving them...so much so that we actually brought them into the house halloween morning. in the end, only for leo to play around with]. I suppose we could still carve them, those pumpkin seeds were pretty tasty last year...
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| that ring stacker...in leo's mind it's a baseball bat - watch out! |
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| ready for action |
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| lookin' both ways - my spiderman & his witch friends |
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| leo's first house |
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| checking out the treat |
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| mad dash! |
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| waiting for our next customers |
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| just a little excited about all his yummy treats |
After we put the boys to bed Halloween night, it really hit us that this was our first holiday with Leo....Leo's first holiday with us. That totally explained why the night felt so much fuller...more exciting...more fun. There was the excitement in Drew's voice and step and there was also the joy and eagerness in Leo's actions throughout the night...together our boys gave us just the most incredible feeling of love and happiness. They also gave us the simple reminder that we truly are all accounted four and how great that feels!
And now we rest until the end of November when we count all our blessings and celebrate Thanksgiving. Tradition would have us traveling to Michigan to be with family, introduce Leo to so many (eager/patient) friends & family, heading to America's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Detroit (love it!!) and enjoying the most delicious Thanksgiving dinner (turkey, stuffing, fresh polish sausage, mashed potatoes, pies...yum yum). But, unfortunately, I go back to work the Monday after Thanksgiving - didn't think it'd be such a good idea to have Leo start "school" the day after a big trip. So, we'll be creating some new traditions...and giving thanks for so very much.
Until next time...it's a big week!
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