drool

excessive drool

it’s been the elephant in the room

the reason for the ‘too many too count’ bibs drying on chairs; waiting in the laundry room to be washed; linked each morning to the school bag; stuffed into my purse day in and day out; and the source of many “wardrobe” changes a day

when we leave our house, we don’t ask “did you lock the door?” or “did you turn off the lights?” or “do you have the keys?” we ask “do we have enough bibs?!”

as the last of leo’s teeth have made their way out of the gum and into their final position, i have realized that the “he’s teething” defense to all his drool just doesn’t cut it anymore.  and, to be honest, i am quite certain that defense was not believed by many.  even kids who are teething don’t drool this much.  i kid not when I say he drools more than a bulldog or a st. bernard.

leo goes through…and when I say goes through, i mean soaks…multiple bibs each morning before noon.  and another whole set in the afternoon and evening hours.  there is not a moment throughout the day that there is not a bib around he neck…from as soon he wakes up to the time we place him in his crib and say good night.  well, unless he’s taking a bubble (that’s Krekelberg terminology for a bubble bath). he even ”gets” to wear a bib when he goes outside to play in the snow…which is super cool to see turn into a solid piece of ice fabric by the time it is time to go inside.  and, there is nothing better than when leo runs toward me to give me a big leg hug…and my pants get to act like a bib and it seriously suddenly feels like i peed my pants.

i am also quite certain “the bib” has been a significant reason for the decline in my picture taking frequency.  how pathetic is that?! i have this completely adorable and funny (bib wearing) kid…but after all these months, i just cannot taken another picture of him wearing a bib.  i cannot do it.  it’s embarrassing.  i mean, really, a kid his age should not be wearing a bib and nor should he or she have drool being constantly wiped off their chin.  i am done.  i need a reason for all this drool…and, more importantly…i need a solution!

at leo’s latest check-up, i was desperate for answers. i gave the doctor every single detail i could about our “situation”…shared information i discovered on the web and even talked myself in circles about why i didn’t think it was the worst and most severe diagnosis (he can say lots of words, he is coordinated, he can drink through a straw, and he can blow bubbles).  i am sure she thought i was crazy.  and then i got the good ole “let’s wait until his next check-up to see if it gets better”.  she obviously did not understand how DONE i am with these slobber rags…and my facial expression must have clearly shown i was not pleased with that response.  that was not an answer i could be satisfied with.  thankfully, she saw that we had not gotten the standard hearing screening the international adoption clinic recommended and quickly said “why don’t I refer you to a ent…have leo’s hearing screening and the doctor can look at his tonsils and adenoids - since his tonsils look a little big. maybe that’s causing the drool.”

i wasted no time and got leo an ent appointment.  the appointment was last friday.  leo hates having his ears touched or looked into so this was not exactly a pleasant visit.  since this is a post without numbers or counting (you have no idea how hard it’s been to not write any numbers…like the number of bibs we own or how many bibs leo goes through in a day or what month check-up we were at and his stats from that appointment or the number of days from check-up to ent appointment…but I made a promise of no number and i am sticking to it) i won’t get into the details of exactly how much of leo’s nasal passage is blocked by his adenoids (more than half, less than completely), how big his tonsils are (not small, not normal, but large), or how blocked his ears were and how much ear wax had to be removed from his ears while he was strapped in a straightjacket board so the doctor could actually see the inside of his ears afterwards (same percentage as the adenoid blockage).  what i will tell you is that by the end of the appointment we learned that our best option is to have leo’s adenoids removed.  unfortunately, this probably will only reduce – not eliminate – the number of bibs we use due to the fact that the size of his tonsils will most likely contribute to some drooling.  why not take them both? because adenoids and tonsils actually serve a purpose in young children (they provide lots of immunity! who knew?!) and therefore it is not recommended that we remove both at this time.

since this is an outpatient surgical procedure in which leo will be under anesthesia and it is not completely curative, i keep finding myself thinking “it’s just drool!!” should we really do this? but, no…it’s not just (a lot of) drool.  it’s that leo cannot breath through his nose and therefore always has his mouth open and is mouth breather, which is not healthy.  it’s that drool is bad for your skin.  it’s that toddlers should not snore so much.  and, it’s that one’s nose should not be runny more than it is not runny – which has not been our case since leo’s been home with us.

so…adenoidectomy here we (leo) comes!

(just as soon as we can coordinate this procedure with another ‘below the belt’ procedure…which, my friends, will have to be a whole other post.)

oh…and another thing i learned by the end of the ent appointment…leo and i are bonded…no attachment issues here.  the whole time leo was in that awful, blue, Velcro, boarded straightjacket/papoose thing he screamed and cried with a beet red face.  that sight made me want to cry just as hard with him has he clinched my finger with all his might as i tried unsuccessfully to soothe and calm him.  but, the fact that he was screaming “peez, peez mommie!!!!” really made me realize *again* that he knows I am his and he is mine…which made the screams almost music to my ears.

until next time…how many “drool bibs” do you think we currently own?!? closest guess wins a chocolate treat. have your guess in by thursday 5pm eastern!

99+1=100

well...thanks to dear ole dad's observations...it appears that all accounted four really isn't so good at counting.  there really are only nine pictures in the last post.  (come on, how many others of you noticed?!)

to make things right...here is picture ten...item number one hundred...a previously undisclosed picture "that says it all" of a time when we were a newly formed family of four and the weather was perfect. pure bliss and happiness.

Until next time...when i promise there will not be any counting or numbers of any kind.

the one hundredth

it’s been a long time coming…but finally, here it is…all accounted four post #100

of course, i’ve been waiting for something spectacular to happen or to come to mind and write about to honor this occasion...but, in the last two weeks the “all” that’s been going on has been extreme discipline action (all big boy toys taken away and all books removed from Drew’s room – each to be individually earned back by Drew with good behavior), living vicariously through my parents as they sailed the caribbean for a week (i knew their ship and sailing schedule by heart and spent many a day daydreaming of cocktails with umbrellas, snorkeling expeditions, and uninterrupted reading in the hot sunshine), and multiple trips to the doctor’s office with Leo (well-child check-up last week, a pink eye diagnosis and prescription yesterday, and a visit to an ENT tomorrow to try and solve this excessive drooling problemsituation)

with nothing overly fascinating to write about for this big occasion, i have come to the conclusion (again) that, just as my friend Elizabeth says, every day the wonderful happens…and as mundane as life can sometimes get (especially during a Minnesota winter) wonderful things do indeed happen every single day and I need to do a better job of capturing all these moments – mundane or not.

i have also come to the conclusion that in the world of blog my talents do not rest in awe-inspiring photography or well timed and edited videos (in fact, I STILL cannot post a video to save my life, no matter how often or how long I try – what is my problem?!) – which I sense can make blogging much quicker and easier to manage.  i can certainly keep trying to improve those skills, but in the meantime what all accounted for is good at is numbers, counting, words and lists.  so, i am sticking with that.

in celebration of 100 posts…ten lists of ten things…100 bits of information and moments for all to enjoy!

Ten Favorite three & counting/all accounted four Blog Posts

1. Ready Set Go

2. the referral call

3. 설날

4. meet our son...again

5. red box

6. consistent

7. proud

8. open for business

9. Korea: Day One - the day we met Leo (part 1) (ant every post from Korea!)

10. one

Ten Things I Love About Drew

1. How he uses his imagination – playing, building, and telling stories

2. His curiosity for the world around him – he’s so full of questions and hypotheses

3. That he likes…and makes sure we eat…foods that are healthy more than we eat foods that aren’t healthy

4. His athleticism – there’s not a sport this kid does not love or excel at if he really wanted to

5. The silly songs and languages he makes up

6. How he always has his leg propped up on something, just like he did before he entered this world when it was constantly pushing on my ribs

7. That he can get dressed, brush his teeth, and make his bed all on his own in the morning

8. That he has an impeccable memory – and I love hearing about all the things he has found important to remember and hear him recount those time through his eyes

9. That he knows what he likes and what he wants and is always determined to figure out a way to get it

10. How he has embraced life with a little brother mostly with patience and an open heart

Ten Things I Love About Leo

1. His manners – I’ve never heard a cuter ‘peez’ and ‘tank ewe’ from a one year old said so many times without prompting

2. How he counts down from three with his fingers and words before he jumps or slides off things

3. The way he grooves to any and all music he hears

4. The concentration and joy he exhibits when coloring, drawing, and painting

5. That he just learned to give ‘knuckles’

6. His crazy silly scrunched up eyes and nose and full display of teeth when someone says “cheese!”

7. That somehow he’s learned and can clearly pronounce nearly 30 English words…especially when the doctor said that at this age he should know 15, if English was his 1^st language

8. That once he’s awake, he is ready to go for the day

9. His super contagious belly laugh

10. The excitement and gentle nature he towards animals – cats, puppies, box elder bugs

Ten Things I Love About Being a Mom

1. Hearing my boys laugh

2. Seeing my boys gain confidence

3. Being asked to snuggle

4. Hearing “Mommmie!” followed by a big hug around my leg

5. Giving Drew & Leo an extra kiss goodnight before I go to bed while they are fast asleep

6. Exploring new places with my two smart and inquisitive little dudes

7. Knowing my hugs and kisses sometimes really do make things all better

8. Being able to spend so much time with them at this age – even on the roughest and toughest of days

9. Getting things made especially for me to put up at work

10. Having a thoughtful and helpful husband to share all these experiences with

Ten Thoughts That Seem to Always Be On My Mind These Days

1. Will Leo ever stop drooling like a Saint Bernard?!

2. What type of wine/wine region should I pick for March Wine Club?

3. How are we going to survive the trip to Tucson?

4. When will all this snow melt?  And, more importantly, how long will the newly raised road be flooded and we be detoured again?

5. I am so very, very, very thankful for the new wiper blade on my vehicle.

6. Why hasn’t that last box of Girl Scout cookies we order and paid for been delivered yet?

7. Why don’t we live someplace with a nicer climate and lower taxes?

8. Should I file a Tax Extension so I can get Leo a SSN and claim him as a dependent in 2010?

9. I really need a day to myself

10. It would be so fun to meet some of these wonderful bloggers in person; how do I make that happen?

Ten Places I Look Forward to Going With My Family in the Years to Come

1. Disney World

2. The Florida Keys

3. Washington D.C. and Williamsburg, VA

4. Europe…Amsterdam, London, Paris

5. National Parks…Yellowstone, Mammoth Cave, and more

6. Korea…Busan, Seoul, Jeju Island

7. Sandusky, Ohio…Cedar Point Amusement Park

8. Hawaii

9. Chicago

10. A Caribbean cruise

Ten Things I Wish I Had More Time For

1. Training for the May 14^th Half Marathon

2. Blogging – writing, reading, and commenting

3. Reading non-children’s books

4. Cooking real meals

5. Gardening

6. Putting together photo books and framing pictures

7. Painting the rooms in the house that have yet to have the builders paint painted over

8. Cleaning and organizing the house

9. Spending time with girlfriends

10. Dates with my husband

Ten Things I Am Looking Forward To in 2011

1. Finalizing Leo’s adoption in March

2. A trip to Tucson in April for desert sun and to introduce Leo to his Great-Grandpa (& for Drew to see his Great-Grandpa for the 1^st time since he was 6 months old)

3. Finishing another half marathon

4. Drew playing soccer this summer

5. Two trips to the cottage…family time, beach time, fireworks, blueberries, and all the fun West Michigan has to offer

6. Drew starting kindergarten

7. Monthly lunch dates with my husband

8. Camping in the Minnesota State Parks

9. Hanging out outside with friends and neighbors this summer

10. Planting more trees in the yard (‘if you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden; if you want to be happy for a life, plant a tree’)

Ten Books I Probably Would Have Missed Out On If It Wasn’t For the Gift of Adoption  

1. The English American

2. Lucky Girl

3. Trail of Crumbs: Hunger, Love, and the Search for Home

3. God Found Us You

4. Bee-Bim-Bop!

5. The Green Frogs: A Korean Folktale

6. Count Your Way Through Korea

7. Pororo the Little Penguin books

8. The Three Questions

9. Cross Cultural Adoption: How To Answer Questions From Family, Friends, & Community

10. numerous South Korea Guidebooks

Ten Pictures That (i think) Say It All

Until next time...thanks for reading

say what

Questions.
Inspiring ones.
Awkward ones.
Ignorant ones.
Perplexing ones.
Sweet ones.
Silly ones.

Since Leo's been home with us, we've had a lot of positive questions, comments, and support from friends, family and strangers.  Much more than I ever anticipated, honestly.  But, there have been a few instances where I've thought "Say WHAT?!?".  None of them have been over the top get-me-all-flustered-and-mad...but still, they've stayed on my mind.

Is your son Korean?

Right before Christmas, Leo and I were on a very focused mission at a local mega-craft store.  We were up and down every aisle with eyes peeled for brown twine when all of a sudden I heard “Is your son Korean?”  At first I panicked a bit thinking…”Oh, no.  Mark this date.  This is going be my first negative “conversation” with a total stranger in a public place about multicultural adoption.”  But, then, in the millisecond between that thought and me stopping the cart and saying “Yes, he is”.  I realized that if this was going to be a negative conversation, she probably would not think Leo could be Korean.  And so my defensive guard dropped a bit.  She replied…while her biological daughter stood up from looking at something on the bottom shelf…saying “How long have you been home with him? We brought our son home from Korea four years ago tomorrow.”  The next day actually marked four months home for Leo.  We chit-chatted a bit and then I said we had to go find dad and big brother at the sports store next door.  She asked if Leo’s brother was Korean too…as immaterial as that question was…I did not get offended or annoyed with it…I just answered “No, he’s biological.” And suddenly two complete strangers, in the suburbs of the Twin Cities, shared a whole bunch in common.  It was a wonderful encounter…one that gave me a glimpse into my future and somehow a lot more confidence in being an adoptive mom.  

[BTW…no brown twine at craft store.]

Cute boys.  Are they both yours? Did you adopt him?

Duh! Of course!!  Isn’t obvious that I am their mother?!

Nope, not what I said trying to get through the grocery check-out…but really, it was a strange conversation starter.  In the end, all the nice employee lady wanted to convene was that she supported adoption.  Amen.

But when you think about it...the question was just plain weird.  After I said "yes" she went on to ask if I adopted Leo.  I thought "well, yeah.  I think that is a pretty safe assumption" but later realized that I suppose I could have had Drew and then married an Asian man that already had a 16-month old and became that child's stepmother...cause that's a common occurrence.  She went on to ask a few more bizzare questions that I've erased from my mind.  I guess all I am trying to say here is that it just would have been way less awkward and much cooler if she had just asked if Leo was adopted and said her bit about how great that was...because I had no clue where she was going with the conversation and I was getting pretty nervous, hot, and sweaty in my down coat and winter hat as both Drew and Leo soaked in the conversation.

Does he have any brothers or sisters?

This question was asked by an extended family member when they first met Leo over the holidays.  We responded, “yes, Drew.” And got a “Come on! You know what I mean!!!”  We again said, “yes, Drew is Leo's brother”.  And heard “No, really. Does he?”  We said “Drew and Leo are brothers.  We have no idea if Leo’s birthparents have other kids.” I quickly learned that night that some people just may never get or understand our decision to adopt...and that is OK.

Will he talk with an accent?

Again, this question was asked by an extended family member over the holidays.  A humorous approach was taken by answering “Probably Minnesotan.”  They didn’t think that was funny.  We still think it was a hilarious response.  And, I am extremely proud of Damon’s quick thinking on that one.

What’s the Korean name? But, that’s a boy’s name!

Over Leo’s baptism weekend we took Leo’s Godparents out to our local Korean restaurant.  Our waitress was smitten with Leo playing games with him, singing to him in Korean and eventually asking how old and the Korean Name.  When we told her, she said (with much surprise) "that’s a boy’s name!!"  We were all perplexed – the clothes were definitely not girly in color or style.  Maybe his hair?!  No clue.  Does Leo really look like a girl?!? Well, he must a little, because last week a nice older gentleman at the pizza place asked Damon is Leo was a girl or a boy.  Though…thinking more about that one…maybe the gentleman was just perplexed because the stereotype is that white people adopt Asian girls, right? So maybe he thought Leo really looked like a boy…but assumed he should be a girl cause that’s what people adopt…and had the courage to ask and satisfy his curiosity.  Who knows.  I am just glad it was a positive experience.  And…maybe it really is time for Leo to get another haircut.

I wish we had adopted an English kid.

Even though Drew hears Leo speak English and we have told him many times before that just because Leo is from Korea does not mean he will speak Korean automatically; that he will speak English just like we do, the other day he proclaimed his desire to have adopted a kid from England so he’d speak English.  I told him if we had done that, Leo wouldn’t be his brother.  He replied with “I’m glad we adopted from Korea then”.  Sweet...progress.

When Leo’s older, can we hang out?

"You bet Drew! You and Leo are brothers – and hopefully friends – forever!" (but, I should have added “if I were you, I’d stop tackling and hitting and taking toys away from Leo so he wants to hang out with you!”)

My wife is going to have two babies in her belly and we will adopt two babies.  Four kids.  Two girls.  And two boys.  And, I am going to tell her that when I meet her.

Good to know, Drew.  Good to know.  [And it makes me feel good and proud to know that…so far…our decision to adopt is having enough of a positive impact on Drew’s life that it’s perfectly normal and a perfectly desirable to him to want a family that embraces adoption like we have.]

Things people say…good, bad, and indifferent…often have a lasting impact.  I know that the day will come when the comment or question about Leo or our family will not be so complimentary.  I used to worry and play out scenarios of how I will respond to ignorant and/or insensitive comments and questions.  Not anymore.  I know that my response will depend on a million different things – my mood that day, who makes the comment, when and where the comment is made – and as time goes by and as we bond more and more with our amazing son, I know that I am gaining a tremendous amount of confidence to be able to handle whatever situation comes our way.  Plus, I have an amazing network of friends that will be there for us when that day comes.  No worries.

Until next time…what would you like my next post (#100) post to be about?!

and a half

February…it’s a big month

1.5 and 4.5

Those halves mean a lot to little dudes…or at least my oldest little dude…and I can find no reason not to point them out and tell the world.

Leo turned “half way to two” this past Saturday.  We enjoyed a Korean Lunar New Year lunch with a large group of adoptive families (many of which we’d never met) and picked up a few treats at the Korean Market.  Leo could not get enough rice, noodles…and my soup and water.  And, it was really nice to meet some families who traveled to bring their little ones home around the same time we brought Leo home.  We look forward to seeing some of these families again someday.  After lunch we joined some neighbors at the local ice arena to cheer on our high school hockey team.  I cannot say that we moms (or both of our one-and-a-half year olds) really did much cheering…except maybe for the times that the Zamboni came out for that was when we got a break from chasing/holding/feeding/entertaining our littlest boys as their eyes were fixated on that remarkable machine…but all-in-all we certainly had a great time and I enjoyed spending the afternoon and early evening with friends.

Drew turns the big FOUR-POINT-FIVE in 14 days.  He is looking forward to celebrating with sparkling juice (which he has never had)…and keeps slyly reminding us that Red Lobster is the restaurant you should go to for your birthday.  Hint received.

Now…while I am truly a fan of half birthdays (comes easy for me with my birthday two weeks before X-mas) and will always celebrate with the honoree (come my thirty-seven-and-a-half birthday in June, I plan on celebrating with brownies and ice cream while wearing flip flops), what I seem to be focusing on the most these days is PAPERWORK.

Throughout the adoption process, there is a lot of paperwork.  We knew this going in.  I even knew about the required one-month, three-month, and five-month Progress Reports.  I’d like to think I got pretty good and efficient at it all.  But, then came the finalization paperwork.  That paperwork nearly threw me into complete frustration and paralysis.  Our agency…in our instance…did a sub-par job communicating the timeline of next steps and forms that needed to filled out.  It was extremely frustrating knowing I could have had these forms and had them submitted way sooner than I did.  But, I prevailed and I keep reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how quickly things get finalized, as long as they do.  The forms were finally completed and notarized on January 24^th and I drove out to the “country” and personally filed a Petition for Adoption with our County.  One week later, we had our Court Hearing date. March 31, 2011 is marked on our calendar with stars and stripes!

Last Friday I also submitted our last required Progress Report to the Agency.  In some ways, it is hard to believe that Leo has already been home with us for five months.  Despite the extremely cold and snowy winter we’re having, it feels like just yesterday that we were in sunny and hot Korea…or having our ‘all accounted four’ photos taken…or taking Leo to the International Clinic for his first check-up…or introducing him to friends and family for the first time.  In other ways it’s amazing how time allows for such gradual growth that often times you don’t notice all the progress that’s transpired.  When really take a moment to think back to the first few days and months, we are amazed at how much Leo has grown (his pants are short, his belly fills out his shirts, and he has a mouth full of teeth) and how much he has learned (his vocabulary is amazing (as are his manners), there’s no more bottles, the nuk is a crib-only thing, and he seems to have learned the rules of the house) and how much more comfortable he is with us and his new home (sleeping well through the night, slowing down long enough to let us read him a book or two or ten, and pushing the limits – just like a toddler should be doing).  It has been “fun” for me to document these things for the agencies and write the required letters.  Lately, I have been thinking that whether required or not, I want to continue to send some sort of update, maybe a yearly letter and pictures to Leo’s foster family and birth parent’s file.  It just doesn’t seem fair to only send a single snapshot of Leo’s life with us…especially one that was taken so close to the time he came home.  Leo is way too neat of a kid to only provide this one snapshot.  Those who’ve loved him in Korea deserve more than that.

And, believe it our not, there is paperwork for things other than adoption!!!

Last week Damon and I attended a Kindergarten Parent Information Night at the local Elementary School for Drew.  As hard as it is to believe that Leo has already been home with us for five months…it is even harder to fathom that Drew is ready to start kindergarten.  But, the registration paperwork is complete and I look forward to dropping it off in the school office with Drew tomorrow.  Drew is extremely anxious to set foot into “his” school for the first time.  And, I am excited to see him continue to grow and learn.  Exciting times!

Until next time…it’s time to dust off those running shoes; what have you been putting off? I'm starting to think there’s no better time to start than now!!