one

Today we celebrate our first Referral-versary. Such a silly term…but, oh, such an important day!

One year ago today, we got “the call”…and “the email”…and the first couple pictures of the sweet boy we would come to name Leo.  We got our Referral.

It was a Tuesday morning. I was home with Drew. Damon should have been in the office. I hadn’t heard the phone ring…but was hearing someone talk. It was our Social Worker…I picked up the phone and said ‘hello’…she cut to the chase and said she had a referral she’d like to present to Damon and I – she’d call back in 45 minutes.

The whole day is still so clear & vivid in my mind. I pray that it always remains this way.

219+4+142=365

219
The number of days we waited from referral date until the day we met, held, and fell even more completely head-over-heels in love with our son in Seoul

161 days of those days were spent waiting for another report and more pictures of our little dude...it was the best July 6th we’d ever had

And, during this long 219 day wait, Drew wrote 86 notes to his brother that he stuck in a red box...a nightly routine that melted my heart and showed me what brotherly love was all about

4
The number of days we spent in Seoul without Leo with us ~ soaking in his South Korean culture and wondering how he was spending his last 4 days with his wonderful foster family

142
The number of days Leo has been home with us
83 straight days with me; another 26 days of ‘school’ under his belt (he’s doing fabulous, no tears at drop off for the past 2 weeks!); lots of “Mommy & Drew & Leo Days”; precious “Family Days” (aka, the weekend & holidays); important reports and letters written and submitted; a baptism; a Petition for Adoption filed; and countless days of soaking it all in and simply making the most of every minute ~ because this is finally real - we are a family of four after trying so very long to be a family of three and then trying and waiting again to be a family of four - in the end, every single one of those moments of waiting was worth it to have the blessing of this very special and beautiful family. Today I am especially soaking it all in and realizing it was all worth the wait.

one year…
365 days…
all accounted for…

Until next time…”just” 53 days until Spring officially starts; maybe now’s the time to start embracing winter?

anticipation

2010 was a year of so much anticipation and joy…that I’ve had a hard time wrapping my head and hands around 2011.  I mean really, 2010 was so exciting it is hard to imagine another year as exciting.  The referral of our son…making the most of every moment as a family of three….another half marathon under my belt…a neighborhood park completed…the wait to travel to Leo…the trip of a lifetime to Seoul & Busan…the joy of bringing Leo home and enjoying life as a family of four.  What the heck could 2011 have to offer that could possibly compare?  And for that matter, will any year hereafter be as great as the year we got married or each of the years Drew and Leo were added our family?

Slowly I am figuring out that life now isn’t so much about big anticipation(s).  It’s about making the most of each and every day.  Finding the things that bring us joy and making sure we make the time to incorporate these things into our busy lives.  And, it’s also about ridding ourselves of those things that do not give us joy and that bring us unnecessary stress.

But, despite knowing this, when I switched over to the 2011 calendar (MN barns, in case you're curious), I still did so with a bit of dread.  I knew there was not a single thing planned that we could look forward to.  Nothing exciting…no big vacation…no new project or hobby…no planned date nights…not a thing except dentist and doctor appointments. [I can’t even count Drew starting kindergarten this fall…which is very likely, but not 100%…because we are still undecided if the Drew-man, with his late August birthday, should start school this year (the cut-off is September 1) Oh the pressure!]

So…I said “enough is enough” and I have spent the last two weeks taking action to fill up the calendar with things to look forward to.

• Drew is ready to start indoor kickball next week
• Drew will be learning about kitchen chemistry, messy mixtures, amazing seeds, and dinos at science museum classes this spring
• Drew is registered for a summer of soccer on a real team
• Leo, our little fish, will soon be signed up for some swimming lessons
• We have two Children's Theatre performances to attend - Babe, the Sheep Pig & Annie
• I will be running half marathon number three in May (& I guarantee I will once again say I am never running a race this long again)
• Monthly Wine Club continues for me…and the Wine Club husbands have started monthly a Beer Club, oh boy
• Damon is planning a guys weekend in Vegas for March Madness (not fair really)
• As a family we’re looking forward to attending the Children’s Home Adoption Celebration on March 5^th
• And, most importantly, we know we’ll be filing for Leo’s adoption finalization and heading to court to have a judge declare this adoption finalized and Leo a U.S. Citizen. I cannot wait to add those events to the calendar.

Not a bad start.  And, I fully intend to keep finding things that bring us happiness and help us fill our lives with fun...and get those things on the calendar too - because life is really much more enjoyable when you have something to look forward to!!

Until next time…what are you looking forward to in 2011?

the history of guys

It was the summer of 2009 and we were doing our best to stimulate the local Michigan economy on our trip to the family cottage in Holland, Michigan.  The wonderful independent toy store Sand Castle in downtown Holland had Baseball Guys, Football Guys, and Soccer Guys for sale.  After much, much, much pondering…Drew chose Baseball Guys and played with them non-stop the rest of the stay (when we weren’t on the beach).  As we started our 10+ hour journey home, we talked about what we enjoyed most about our time at the cottage.  Never in a million years would I have thought that discussion would lead to a full-blown screaming, kicking, crying tantrum in the backseat…but it did.  All because he didn’t get the Football Guys (too).  This tantrum lasted from the Holland City Limit all the way to the Indiana border (approximately 90 miles).  And then when we could not take it anymore, we made the call to Granny & Pop…asking them to please go to the store and buy the football guys and ship them home to us.

A few days later, the Michigan Football Guys arrived on our porch and we’ve been a “Guys” house since.

Our Hockey & Soccer Guys came directly from the source – Santa Claus via Kaskey Kids.  You can also check out the Kaskey Kids website and see if there is a local store near you that sells them.  (I recently saw Soccer Guys at our local independent - and totally amazing - toy store Creative Kid Stuff after buying them straight from the website.)

In case you’re curious, there are now eleven collegiate football teams available (in addition to the three available neutral sets): Alabama, {National Champion} Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, LSU, Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State, Tennessee, and Texas.  [Sorry, Grace…no Wisconsin or Packers]

And, I think I should give some full disclosure on Leo’s astonishing creativity with his own version of Guys.  Leo has three drawers all his own in the kitchen island that are quite bare – except for the drawer liners, some bowls, cookie cutters, spatulas, and random toys he puts in there (including a recent discovery of Drew’s baby doll, baby Taylor, over the weekend).  Leo loves taking these things out – including the liners – pretending to cook, set the table, and then put it all away.  So, it wasn’t like a big light bulb went off in Leo’s head that led him to a full kitchen drawer of kitchen gadgets to empty and pull out the liner for the first time ever.  He’s had the liner on the floor before with cookie cutters on it…just never guys from the other room.  Still remarkable in my book.  But, not totally genius like you might have been thinking.

Until next time…when I hope to FINALLY have all Leo’s finalization paperwork complete (these legal documents are so not intuitive)

making progress

Look at me! Posting twice in one week…making progress indeed.

My boys are also making more progress in the brotherhood department.  Since there is always going to be some level of sibling rivalry, I have realized I just need to get more used to the toy snatching, tackling, chasing, and screaming we’ve been experiencing.  And, I need to focus on the fact that all this brotherhood behavior is actually refreshing – it means Drew and Leo are bonding.  Or...at least that’s what I am going with.

More and more, Leo just wants to do whatever Drew is doing.  The good.  And the bad.  Most of the time it’s cute…except when it annoys Drew, then watch out!  But I am so proud that the boys are beginning to share and play together a bit more.

Drew has a few boxes of “guys”.  He’s got baseball guys, hockey guys, soccer guys, and football guys.  (The only “guys” that they make that we don’t have are soccer girls.)  All these guys, depending on the sport, comes a felt field or vinyl rink, a scoreboard, goalposts or goals, and umpires or referees.  I have to admit, these guys are pretty cool – including the cool storage/carrying case they all come in - and highly recommend them.

Without a doubt, at least one set of these guys are played with for an extended period of time on a daily basis.  For me, this play often involves helping to decide which teams are playing each other (specific high school, college, or professional teams), having to watch “good play” after “good play”, hearing the ever-changing score over-and-over-and-over (boy are Drew’s math skills getting good!), and constantly pulling Leo off the field and telling him ‘no!’ – the guys are Drew’s.  It is exhausting. 

 I do not blame Leo for his interest in these players; they are quite tempting to snatch off the field to play with – especially when seeing his big brother playing with these guys non-stop, they must be the best toys ever, right?!  But play with these guys by a one-year old is not in the four-year old’s playbook.  I have been waiting and waiting for the day that Drew will let Leo play with him.  With all the time spent with these guys, Leo has had LOTS opportunity to observe the “proper way” to play with these sporty little dudes.  Recently, he figured out how to stand them up on the field and even tried to help Drew with his game.  Progress towards playing together, right? Nope.  Unfortunately, Drew did not view this accomplishment with the same enthusiasm I did.

Well, Leo must have had enough of hearing me say no, enough of Drew pushing or kicking him off the field, and enough of Drew yelling at him that “the guy doesn’t go THERE” - because finally his actions said “ENOUGH! I don’t need your guys Drew, I’ll play with my own guys and on my own field!”  After being ejected from the “real guys playing field” one day Leo proceeded to go to the kitchen, empty a drawer, take out the drawer liner, spread it on the floor and go get his own set of guys.  And then he played his own game.  No joke.  It was awesome.

And, guess who thought this was pretty cool too and wanted to play with these Lego guys turned sports guys in the kitchen.  Yep, Drew.  Thankfully, Leo was a good sport and obliged.

The next time Drew was playing with his football guys, he happily gave Leo the Ref to play with…without being asked to share.  It was a proud Mama moment.

I am confident we’ll continue to make progress in the ‘happy brothers’ department.  There’s definitely more laughing and hugging and helping and sharing going on by both boys (between the tantrums and time-outs) these days…all positive things that make me smile more and more each day and reassure me that we’ve got lots very fun days in our future with two boys in the house.

Until next time…hope you had a HAPPY KOREAN-AMERICAN DAY!

blessed

It is January 10, 2011.  I have been MIA from the blog world for quite some time…and coming back into it has not exactly been “like riding a bike” for me – I must still be a bit out of balance.  All the time away got me thinking a little too much…those silly who, what, when, why and how questions (I do know the answers to the where question – I am to blog and read blogs on the computer, the one that’s been getting increasingly buried with junk mail and school art projects while it’s sitting on the counter). 

WHO is reading this blog – because I know that there’s got to be people that don’t comment but still read it (but I have no clue exactly who) and it would be kinda nice to know to know who’s reading and who’s caring.  Having no clue as to who is reading leads me to wonder if WHAT I am writing about is of any interest to anyone – the original purpose of this blog was to keep family and friends all across the country in the know about our adoption journey; thankfully it also has led me a wonderful and supportive community of strangers-turned-friends that have shared their adoption journey and post-adoption adventures and have supported ours.  But, now that Leo is home, I need to figure out the “purpose” of All Accounted Four…I am a people pleaser who just wants to meet the needs and interests of my audience.  J

In this time that I have not been sharing the happenings here at All Accounted Four, I have also been neglecting the joys and tribulations of this new community of friends over the past month plus…which definitely leaves me feeling a bit sad and guilty.  Seriously, WHEN am I ever going to find the time to wholeheartedly catch-up with those that have truly become important to me – is there really enough time to catch-up on some most magical and important moments of those friend’s lives through their blog?  if I read posts that are 40+ days old, do I comment on them or not?  If I do or if I don’t will these friends think I am totally kooky or unsupportive or hopefully just human and finding my balance again?  And, WHEN will I blog in 2011?  I wish I had the time and organizational skills to blog and comment daily (or nearly daily) as some of you inspiring, talented, witty, and fun friends do…but I don’t.  In 2011 I hope to be better at accepting this fact…which is WHY will continue to do my best to find that balance of living life with two young boys and sharing those times and adventures that are fitting of the times, when I have time.

And that leaves HOW.  How do I get back in the saddle to catch-up and also share what’s been going on in our lives?  Obviously a lot has been going on since I’ve been “gone”…Leo hit a few more milestones (16 & 17 months old and 4 months home) – which I have decided is obviously not a priority of mine to blog about since I’ve missed just about each new monthly milestone since we’ve been home; we had another wonderful and laid back visit from my parents; there was frantic shopping & wrapping; baking and eating; Christmas festivities, including our first bulgogi Christmas dinner; a four-year old with a double ear infection; and a New Year’s Eve that included a kiss at midnight (which is a tradition I love and support ~ such a good way to start a new year!).

So, how do I get back in the saddle?! I have finally realized I cannot get all hung up on what I have not shared yet…and I just I just need to start with today (or yesterday) and find my groove.  Lucky for me (and you), yesterday was a big day and there’s something big to share!

~ Leo’s Baptism ~ 

We were extremely blessed with a quick referral due to the simple fact that Damon and I are Catholic.  As we waited to travel we wondered if since the agencies placed such importance on Leo being raised in a Catholic home if that meant he’d already been baptized.  Oddly enough, we never got this information.  Nor did we ever have to provide them the date we intended to have him baptized.  Anyhow, we ultimately decided that even if he was baptized in Korea, we would baptize him again here in the States with his new name and in his home church.  [Maybe it was because we had already made this decision that we failed to ask Sister Monica at 'Mo Sung Won' in Busan if he had already been baptized (or, more likely, it was because of the extreme jet-lag and heat & humidity we were experiencing at the time).]

Choosing Godparents for Leo was quite easy – our friends Cas and Mike have been supporting us on our adoption journey before it was even officially an adoption journey….they were there for us when it was a “having-trouble-getting-pregnant again journey” and an “are-we-really-an-only-child-family journey” and a “we’re-thinking-about-adopting journey”.  We share a faith that continually blesses our 24+ year friendship; a faith that has blessed us both with two amazing children; and, a faith that – without doubt – will keep us friends for a lifetime.  We are so blessed to have them in our lives.  And, Leo is extremely blessed to have such extraordinary people be his Godparents.

On Saturday, Cas and Mike flew into town from Michigan and met Leo for the first time…a long over due meeting.  We all had fun hanging out, eating Korean for lunch, and picking up the cake for Sunday.  And once the boys were asleep…some much overdue Euchre playing!

Leo Aaron Kim Krekelberg was one of twelve babies baptized as a special Mass on Sunday.  It did not matter that Leo was by far the oldest child being baptized that day; it did not matter that Leo was the only minority being baptized that day; it did not matter that Leo was too big to wear the baptismal gown I wore, my brother wore and that Drew wore; it did not matter that Leo gave the priest high fives before Mass started and could walk himself down the aisle; it did not matter that he ate goldfish and drank out of a sippy cup while we sat in the front pew; and it did not matter that he screamed when we did not let him hold the candle himself.  All that mattered was that Leo now has another connection to us.  It was this ceremony…this official and public blessing…that really, really made me feel like Leo’s mom (which, I very much am).  I have loved this boy since the moment we saw his picture nearly a year go.  And, I have bonded and prayed with this sweet child over the past four months.  But, yesterday, I was completely overwhelmed with pride and love and grace and hope and a real understanding that this is my son…brought to me by God, just as God brought Drew to me…and we will be together forever ~ I've got the first official paperwork to prove it!

light shining in on us

getting dressed in our assigned front pew

excited for Mass to begin 

hanging with my big boy

no tears for big boy Leo!

receiving a blessing - and eying up that candle!

Leo and his Godparents (& that cool candle)

"the baptism made me strong, look at my MUSCLES"

SO excited for Leo

So excited, there's even kisses!

Mike, Cas and the Krekelbergs after Mass

one very good lookin' & tasty cake

Leo's preferred celebratory food

though, cake was good for mashing

Until next time…God bless you Leo!