8/31/10

One year ago today we flew half way around the world.

Leo had no idea we were coming.

We could not wait to see him. Hug him. Love him forever.

Our little three & counting was about to become all accounted four.

Until next time...typhoons & leos, oh my!!!

reflecting

the next seven days are big ones here at all accounted four.  it was one year ago tomorrow that we (known then as three and counting) boarded a big beautiful blue plane and traveled half way around the world to finally...finally...be with leo.  it was a big deal then.  and, it's still a big deal now.  and big deals deserve some attention.

becoming all accounted four took time and patience and lots and lots of love.  tomorrow marks one year since we began that final stretch of waiting to complete our family.  that time was so special and important that i want to take the next seven days to revisit and share the posts of a year ago - remembering the incredible time we had in korea and reflecting on how far we've come as a family that is truly all accounted for.  but, before we do that i also want to share some thoughts about this adoption journey that we're on.

supportive family and friends make all the difference.

in the beginning...before we even filled out and returned our first piece of adoption paperwork...damon and i were stalkers.  we scoured the web in search of adoption information and found you tube videos and blogs.  before those people even knew we existed, they became our supportive friends. friends we'd refer to by the name of their blog.  and, thankfully, we eventually came out of hiding and have become honest to goodness friends with some of these amazing families (whether we've met in person yet or not).  i feel so honored to be on a first name basis with some of these ladies.  truly honored.  i can only hope that somehow through this blog and through my interactions with others i can provide the support, encouragement, and wisdom that all these new-found and amazing people have shown me to others. 

once we announced we were adopting...which, thinking back, was an exciting yet nerve-racking thing to do (would people be supportive? were we prepared to answer questions? would our families shun us?)...i was overwhelmed with the support of friends and family.  from our parents to wine club to co-workers to the teachers at drew's school.  it was an awesome and amazing feeling to finally share our news.  still is.  damon and i feel so blessed to know we have so many friends and family members we can count on.  to all of you...thank you.  thank you for being there for us.  and thank you for accepting and loving leo from day one.  it means the world to us.  and, please know that as you are and have been there for us, we too are there for you whenever you need our friendship and support.

we took drew with us to korea…and we’d make that decision again in a heartbeat.

from the very beginning of the adoption process, i think deep down damon and i knew that drew would be coming with us to bring leo home.  bringing a newly minted four year old on such a long and emotional trip might sound crazy to some.  but, whenever we pictured meeting leo for the first time or stepping off the airplane back home, drew was there with us.  he is part of our family…the family leo was joining…and therefore we knew he should be the first to meet leo right there with us in seoul – not via pictures on the computer or as part of a group of people at the airport.  we all belonged together...even if that meant seeing, doing, and eating differently in seoul than we would have had just damon and i gone.

we also thought it was really important for drew to see korea and experience leo’s birth culture.  drew had shown a lot of interest learning about korea throughout our wait to bring leo home…learning (and liking) different korean foods, learning to count in korean, enjoying drum and taekwondo performances…that not taking him to experience all this firsthand just seemed wrong.

and…personally…i really, honestly, truly believe that having drew there in korea and on the plane home helped make leo’s transition into our family a thousand times smoother.  and, likewise, drew’s transition into big brotherhood a little easier.  kids like kids.  and, i think leo was really comforted knowing there was a kid there with him and for him.

[more morbidly thinking, i just hated the thought of leaving drew at home and telling him we were going to go get his little brother – i mean really, what if the plane crashed and damon and i both died?!? i had my self convinced that drew would forever think that we’d just stayed in korea with his little brother and just never came back for him.  so, with thoughts like those…the decision was made.  drew was coming with us!!]

we could not have picked a better hotel to call home in korea.

we often hear drew say “i miss korea”. but what we know he more specifically means is that he misses the breakfast at the hotel in seoul.  (and maybe the pool and playing table tennis at the hotel.) but whatever it actually is that he loves.  It brings complete joy to me to know that he misses korea.  he has memories that…without doubt…will last a lifetime.  memories that he will share with leo and strengthen their bond of brotherhood throughout their lives.

as for damon and I, we loved the hotel too.  we loved it’s location.  we loved the comforts and ease of staying there.  we loved the big bathrooms, the cozy beds, the view of n seoul tower.  (we loved the breakfasts too).  we would stay at the fraser suites again.  in seoul or anywhere in the world.

we should have asked people to take more pictures of us as a family of four.

believe it or not, we don’t have any pictures of just me, damon, and leo…or me, damon, drew and leo in korea.  it flabbergasts me.  it makes me sad.  and, i am sure surprises and shocks anyone reading this.  but, slowly i am getting over it.  it’s just one of the negative aspects of meeting leo on the morning of a typhoon (and traveling with a four year old, i am sure).  thankfully, i know i don’t need pictures of four of us together to remember the events and happiness of those first moments and days together.  i just hope that in the future, leo doesn’t need them either.

we do have lots of other pictures...and some great ones with leo's foster mom.  i think those are important too. and, in the long run probably more important since we can't get those shots anymore.

we miss seoul…long to explore more of busan…and think the 2018 Winter Olympics would be a great time to re-visit.

what an honor it will be to take leo back to korea and all explore his birth country together!! i cannot wait. this longing to travel back to korea is a constant reminder to me that our adoption journey did not end the moment we stepped off the plane in the states.  nor did it end the day we finalized the adoption.  or does it end on september 7th when we celebrate leo's first family day.  this journey our family is on lasts a lifetime and will be full of culture and learning.  it's a journey i would not trade for anything in the world...and a journey i am so proud to be on with the three most amazing boys in the world.  thank you damon, drew, and leo for being my all accounted four.

Until next time…prepare to travel back to korea with us!

five ~ belated

two sundays ago drew turned five. FIVE. it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that he is already half a decade.  those years seem to have just flown by…just as this past week has.  but i know in reality they really haven’t.

drew’s birthday weekend started late last friday afternoon in the car on the way to pick up pizzas and balloons for the big lego themed party that night.  and, more specifically, the birthday celebration officially began once drew heard mindy of the absolutely mindy show on siriusxm’s kids place live read off his name and give him his birthday missions.  in order to turn one year older, drew had to take a cross-eyed picture with friends or family; repeat a tongue twister three times; and have damon and i sing him the story of when he was born.  these missions were completed by saturday morning…leaving no doubt that drew would turn five on sunday.  [the song we sang was a kind of duet, i think…with damon’s parts much more musically gifted and my parts somehow turning into a very pathetic rhyming rap of sorts. the words though were what was most important, and i don't think that got lost on drew. he really seemed to enjoy hearing the story of his birth...in a crazy song kinda way]

the birthday party. drew chose a lego theme of his party…and it was an absolutely perfect choice.  the ideas and options were limitless and i think we chose some fun things for the party guests to do - build lego guys, a team building project, a relay race with legos, and taking turns hitting the all important pinata.  i feel like we only cracked the tip of the iceberg in terms of decorations, games, food and favors.  if drew or leo chose this theme again, i would be happy.  and, so would they!!

fun building with legos

ten five year olds ready to take on the pinata

and, thanks again to christine at leapfrog lane for her creativity and incredible talent! she designed some amazing decorations that once again totally made the party actually feel like a party!  thank you christine!!

finally sunday came...drew's actual birthday.

at 1:24am, drew turned five.  damon and i peeked in on him just after midnight to watch him sleep, whisper “happy birthday” and give thanks to god for the blessing he’s given us.  drew is an amazing kid…an awesome son…and a very cool big brother. (and i am his extremely proud mom!)

drew’s birthday day was a very good reminder that our little drew-man is growing up!! drew spent the lunchtime hours at a friend’s birthday party (drew and this buddy from ‘school’ share the same birthday – so we coordinated party times so they and their friends could attend both) and with leo asleep in the car and damon and i eating our drive-thru lunch in the parking lot, it totally felt like life fast-forwarded and damon and I were empty-nesters not knowing what to do with ourselves on our kids birthdays since they weren’t with us.  it was a strange feeling.  thankfully, drew was back with us by 1:30 and we were ready to celebrate as a family again!!

i am pretty sure that drew’s been asking when he can play hockey since he was three.  make that two.  the answer has always been the same, “when you’re five you can play hockey.”  well drew is keeping us to our word.  and, therefore, his gift from us – all the gear he needs to become a mini-mite this fall!!

goal!

ready to be put on a hockey trading card

later in the afternoon we all headed to open skate so drew could try out his new equipment (it all worked great...and he looked like such a big boy out there on the ice!!)  then we finished out the big birthday celebrations with dinner at red lobster and ice cream at coldstone...where drew allowed the workers to sing happy birthday to him.  a very happy birthday it was!!

two brothers. ready to hit the ice.

running into the restaurant after working up an appetite at the rink

now, before i end this belated birthday post...there's some things you should know about drew the five year old:

drew is determined and competitive...he loves racing, and sports, and puzzles, and keeping his mind and body active

drew still loves his guys: lego guys, hockey guys, baseball guys, football guys, soccer guys, army guys and has the best imagination when playing with them all 

drew is the healthiest eater we know...there's not a veggie or fruit he does not like, scolds us for eating too many treats, and thinks he's allergic to cheese (unless it's feta or on a pizza) and butter/margarine (but he's not)

drew is sensitive and caring...especially when it comes to bugs, animals, and his little brother

drew has the longest eyelashes of anyone i have ever known...so long in fact they've been known to get stuck tucked into his bottom lid so he isn't able to open his eye without assistance!

drew is a great big brother...he shares, he helps, makes leo laugh, and sometimes he even puts his little brother in his place

drew's favorite color is blue...or green...but not pink or purple

drew is ready to start kindergarten next week...with his shark backpack filled with school supplies and lunch code memorized and ready to use!

until next time...a week of milestones galore!!

two

we’ve got a two year old in the house!

leo turned two on friday…but it seriously feels like we’ve been celebrating this big birthday for days; rightfully so having missed celebrating his first birthday with him in person.

thursday there were cookies and a birthday crown at school

friday (the real deal day) we opened some gifts, hit the community pool, and enjoyed some delicious korean food for dinner (which included new chopsticks for both drew and leo from the market next door to the restaurant since i forgot theirs.  luckily, they had a 'stage two pair' for drew and for leo, they had a crong.. the perfect match for his pororo set at home. and perfect because now i can use one of the two pororo sets we have at home.) leo must have thought it was a very fun-filled day...he fell asleep in the car on the way home at 6:15 - and slept through the night!

ahoy!!

someone else was pretty excited for this gift

practicing with crong before the food came

quite happy with his new chopsticks (and even happier when the kimchi came)

the two birthday boys

the waitress positioned us just so...to make sure we got lots of mother of pearl in the picture

saturday we celebrated with a puppy dog themed party! dog house picture frames, puppy chow in dog dishes, hot dogs for dinner, bow wow and puppy paw cupcakes, and doggie bag treat bags.  it was a really good time celebrating with so many friends!! and the perfect theme for leo (and no, leo did not get a puppy for his birthday. but, our neighbors picked up their first family puppy dog that day, and I have a feeling leo will be pretty excited about that!)

[a big HUGE thank you to christine at leapfrog lane for designing and making the absolutely perfect party decorations!! i am sure the theme of the party wasn’t the easiest for her at the time (she just lost her beloved dog roxy)…but as i told her, the decorations were amazing and it was obvious roxy was on her mind when she did them.  without a doubt, roxy was still spreading love and joy with all of us at the party.]

sunday we celebrated damon’s birthday…and leo carried the helium-filled balloons around the house looking to share part of his party with daddy!

now that all the festivities are over (at least for leo…we’ve still got drew to celebrate before the end of the month! hooray!!)…there’s more time to see that my little toddler is indeed slowly but surely turning into a big boy.  lately leo has really been starting to let his personality shine and express his likes and dislikes.  it is so fun to see!  here’s a little glimpse into leo, the two year old.

he’s a counter.  you ask “how many?” and leo starts counting whatever it is in front of us…cars, trucks, books, legos.  it is fascinating to see his brain working and carefully and skillfully point to and count things.  the first time leo counted for us he got to thirteen.  that was a month or so ago.  just the other day he counted to twenty.  seriously. twenty.  (we must count a lot in the house)

and, by the way, if you want to know how old leo is, you probably won’t get an answer if you ask him “how old are you?” though, your chances of a response are much better if you ask “how many are you?”  :)

his favorite color is green…or at least i think it is because it’s the only color he correctly identifies and proudly announces to whoever will listen when he sees it.  but then again, maybe it’s black because lately it’s the most sought out and used color of crayon – he just must not know that to call that color yet.

“oooh maaaan” is a common phrase we hear…usually followed up with a super cute “all better”.  i want the sound of those words to be forever imprinted on my brain.  they are too cute and oh so sweet.

the kid is drawn to water…must be his busan roots. bubble baths, showers, bathroom sinks, kitchen sinks, sprinklers, hoses, rivers, lakes, pools, ice rinks – makes no difference, leo is in heaven when he’s with water.  needless to say, the pirate ship water table we got him appears to be the perfect gift! and, i see many more trips to the community pool and swim lessons starting up for him this fall or winter.

he keeps growing and growing (despite his sharp decline in consumption of fruits and vegetables over the past six months or more)…when he was measured at the cottage on the fourth of july, leo measured in at 36 inches  (that would be an inch taller than drew at the same age – yikes!). we shall she how much he's grown in a month tomorrow at his check-up appointment!

but he’s getting “big” in other ways too…in the last year he’s shown us that doesn’t need (or want) a lot of things anymore: a pacifier, his highchair, gates around the house, sippy cups (much to my chagrin; they’re so convenient and the no spill clean-up factor makes me such a happier mom…but, i suppose he can’t use one forever).  now if only we could get rid of diapers.  [seriously though, what a huge year of growth and development and independence! great job leo!!]

he’s resourceful and helpful…when he’s on a mission, there’s not a chair or stool that he hasn’t been pushed or carried to put into place up high or get to a sink for some water.  and, leo especially wants to help his big brother  – wanting to help drew clean up toys or share anything and everything he has with him (even if drew doesn’t anything to do with what he’s being given) or hand drew his shoes and hat saying “drew-drew’s shoes. drew-drew’s hat” when it’s time to leave the house.  there was a time when i wasn’t so sure, but i think these two boys of mine are going to be great brothers and great friends with each other too.

leo still loves music…playing musical instruments, singing, and dancing.  we listen to a lot of kids place live on xm radio (did you hear absolutely mindy read leo’s name and give him his birthday missions on july 27^th!?!) and drew has been singing out loud in the car much more lately…to which leo now knows is acceptable behavior and sings too.  how he knows the words is beyond me…and way too cute.

happy TWO leo!

until next time…there’s leftover cupcakes and ice cream that need to be finished and i’ve got a lego party to plan!

a pre-birthday wish

tomorrow leo turns two. all week i’ve been gearing up to celebrate all things leo…something i’ve been waiting a long, long time to do. but, i’ve also had some other people on my mind.

i wonder where leo’s birthmom is and what she’ll be doing on august 5th. i wonder if she is thinking about her baby boy. i wonder if leo has her eyes or her ears or her laugh. or all the above. i wonder if she looks up at the sky and wishes on the stars. and, i can only hope she ends each of her days with a prayer for leo…just as we end our days with a prayer for her.

i wonder if leo’s birthdad loves music as much as leo does. or enjoys sports like baseball, golf and hockey. i wonder how proud he’d be to know that leo is fully living up to his brave and courageous name.

it’s also been a week of thinking about leo’s foster family. this week i’ve more fully grasped just how much they truly loved him. how well they cared for him and started him off right in the world – teaching him kindness, the importance of family, and how exciting exploring the world can be. i will be forever grateful for all they did…and all they’ve done (and are doing) for all the other babies they’ve taken in and loved as their own.

so…today, i simply wish that all these wonderful people know…and somehow tomorrow they get some sort of a sign...that leo is happy; leo is safe; and leo is loved…loved by so many. but mostly importantly, that they know that we have not forgotten them and that we are forever thankful for all they have done.  and, that we intend to continually give leo one of the biggest and best gifts we can throughout his life - the knowledge of these people and how important they are to him. and, him to them.

until next time…may tomorrow be a celebration of leo all across the world!