growth

It has been nearly a year since we started our adoption journey – last August we officially decided to grow our family through adoption and mailed the first piece of paper work (a little agency registration sheet). A YEAR! Sometimes it has felt like the slowest year of waiting ever; sometimes it has felt like the year could not have gone any faster; and sometimes – most times – it has felt like the luckiest year ever. Regardless, it has definitely been an important year of learning, growing, hoping, sharing, loving, praying and waiting.

It has also been a mere half a year (1/29/10) since we first got a peek into a little baby boy’s life…just three little pictures and a brief write-up on his background. We did our best to understand what we could about this little dude, make a decision to bring him into our lives and then take a huge leap of faith that this was the right time and the right boy for our family. Of course we worried after we made the decision…the referral had come so quickly that we really had barely exhaled from the “we’re really doing this” phase of the process; we had not even had a chance to do the required/recommended readings on what really to expect and understand; and, we had just started feeling somewhat comfortable openly sharing the news that we were adopting. But, that referral had us jumping wholeheartedly into the world of adoption. Most of the worries we had back in January seem to have almost completely disappeared; I think most simply because over the last six months Leo has truly become our son – both in our minds and in our hearts.

All the waiting, reading, blogging, sharing, talking, experiencing has helped us grow immensely and realize that we are not alone in this journey. When you start down the adoption path, it can be a very scary and lonely place. You don’t know about all the love, support and resources that are out there. And, you won’t really understand all the love and capacity you have in your heart and how quickly is grows and sustains you during the long wait. The past year has been one in which we have grown in more ways than we ever expected…even with just nine additional pictures and one email of developmental updates, we are more in love with that little dude than when we first laid eyes on him six months ago. Leo may be half way around the world, but we have become so much more confident and secure in our abilities to become a happy and supportive multicultural family.

Though, by no means do we think that we are completely ready for all that’s in store for us from the moment we get that all important Travel Call (is anyone ever ready for the unknown future?). But, I think we feel the past twelve months have opened many doors and provided us countless opportunities to become more comfortable with our new “normal” life. While waiting is difficult and we really do want Leo home has quickly as possible, I truly believe this wait – just like pregnancy – has served its purpose well. We are so much more prepared to welcome Leo into our family than I ever expected we would be a year ago.

Leo turns one next Thursday. And we know the past twelve months have been an important year for him as well - he has been learning and growing (under the careful & loving care of an amazing couple)…and there have many people all around the world loving him and praying for him day-in and day-out. But, what Leo doesn’t realize is that he too has been waiting. He simply cannot fathom the notion that there is a family in Minnesota awaiting his arrival…a family waiting to embrace him in theirs; a family fully prepared to continue learning, growing, hoping, sharing, supporting, loving, and praying with him for all the days to come.

So, how do you celebrate the first year life of your child when you cannot be with him? We’ve got some ideas…one being finishing Leo’s room by the 5^th so we can do a little ribbon cutting ceremony and have a family sleep-over in there. I feel like being in his room (even without him) on this very special day is the best way to feel closest to him. And, the best way to show how anxious we each are to have Leo home with us.

But, as anxious as we are to have him here with us, it is also so important to remember that Leo has no clue what is about to hit him in just a matter of weeks. I really hope for his first birthday Leo is blessed with more gifts of strength, courage and bravery. Strength to continue learning and growing no matter where he is living; Courage to let us love, support and care for him; and Bravery to face life in America with confidence and enthusiasm.

Until next time…I’m off to finish preparing Leo’s room - feel free to stop on over and help!

22 seconds

In the last post I stated "I am quite confident we WON’T be in this batch…but another batch into the Ministry means we’re just that much closer".

Boy was I was wrong!

My phone rang at work today while I was in the middle of a conversation with a co-worker. I didn't recognize the number (especially since it had a 651 area code - no one calls me from 651) so I let it go to voice mail. Within seconds the little red light appeared on the phone, so I called in to check the message right away. To my complete surprise it was our Specialist. She said she had some good news...our paperwork was submitted to the Korean Ministry last Friday (7/16/10). [What?!? Really?!?!] She said they are anticipating the Ministry will take up to six weeks approve...and then the paperwork goes to the US Embassy for final processing (no estimated time frame for that at this point - but previous estimates said up to ten days). After all that, it will be time to travel. So, we're looking at just about 8+ weeks until we could be Seoul-bound! [we're counting in weeks now - not months! that is awesome]

The voice mail message lasted a mere 22 seconds. They were without a doubt the best 22 seconds of my day (or, maybe the best 66 seconds - I played the message three times). [in case you are wondering, the second best part of the day was calling Damon to tell him this incredible news...and the third best part was when Drew busted out after dinner in some new song he learned about elephants and a spider web - too cute]

FINAL PROCESSING. TRAVEL. LEO HOME. UNBELIEVABLE.
This is real! This is happening! In just a couple months we will finally be a family of four!!

I've just been in such shock all afternoon. I've always just expected fall travel...like October fall travel, not early- to mid-September travel. I am extremely happy, excited, and grateful that the final stretch has come sooner than I anticipated. Without a doubt a totally great and wonderful thing! But, I am also starting to get anxious and nervous...that's normal, right?! How will our first meeting with Leo go? What grieving and attachment issues are we going to face? How do we help our family and friends understand those issues and the approaches we may take to address them? Can I really handle two boys? How can I help prepare Drew for what's about to happen (when I myself really have no clue)?

There is an adorable little boy half way around the world who I love with all my heart...who I know will melt all my worries away the very second I lay eyes on him in Seoul. But, until then...celebrate with us...but also feel free to provide a little reassurance and advice - it would be more than appreciated!

Until next time...WE HAVE EP SUBMISSION!!

proud

This post is long overdue…and my fear is that since the event I am writing about happened over a week ago the words I type are going to lose the pure emotion and pride I had at the time.  I was (am) one proud mama!!  But I will give it a shot anyhow, because moments like these definitely need to be documented.

On July 10^th, Damon headed up north for a golf weekend…and Drew and I headed to the Mall of America for a free event in the Rotunda – Passport to Korea.  We were joined by two of Drew’s Aunties and three of his cousins.  The weekend long event was sponsored by the Network of Professional Adopted Koreans, the Korean Consulate General in Chicago, the Korean Cultural Center - LA, and the Korea Tourism Organization.  There were tons of presentations on Saturday – the Korean drum group that we saw at the HERE book release; a taekwondo group; a violinist; a cooking demo; the story of an adoptees search for his birth family; and a fashion show of Hanbok Nara - Queen Seon Duk Drama Costume Collection.  We namely came to see the drummers and the taekwondo…and they did not disappoint.  (we also came for the Korean restaurant food sampling – but either it wasn’t there or we totally missed it.  Darn.)

The event also had some great tourism information – considering we are planning on making a trip to Korea in the next few months I definitely picked up some maps, guidebooks, and even a short promotional video on Korea.  Some local Korean markets were there sampling products (Drew cannot get enough of the Spicy Shrimp Cheetos-like things; I much prefer the honey flavored kind).  And, we learned that a Korean immersion school will be opening in the Twin Cities the Fall of 2012 – they will be having a promotional fundraiser with Korean culture presentations on August 14^th that we will be sure to check out.  But, despite all the “stuff” going on at the event, it was what Drew did while we were there that left the biggest impression on me.

We sat in the second row on the right side of the raised stage…I was the furthest in, then an empty seat…Drew on one cousin’s lap…another cousin…and then one of Drew’s Aunties on the aisle.  In front of us in the first row was a lovely adoptive family of five – a biological daughter and two Korean adoptees (definitely older than Drew).  The beautiful MC in her gorgeous hanbok took some time between presentations to quiz the rather large audience.  She asked the audience who could name three Korean foods.  Without hesitation, Drew’s arm shot up like a rocket – straight, stiff, and confidently held in place – as he simultaneously stared down the MC like an eager and experienced school aged kid would do.  At the same time, the boy’s arm in front of me was raised.  By the time I realized the MC was walking towards our side of the stage also zoned in on Drew, it was too late to lean over and ask Drew what he was going to say.  I got nervous and secretly hoped the MC would ask the older boy in front of me.  But, no, she called on Drew and asked him to come up to the stage.  All I thought was “oh god…does she not realize she is calling on a three-year old that hates when he is the center of attention and could at any moment freeze, or worse pout and whine and cause the hugest commotion the MOA Rotunda has even seen if he gets embarrassed, can’t remember what he was going to say, or gets an answer wrong and is corrected?!?”  So, while Drew and one of his cousins worked their way up to the stage, I went into defense mode and leaned forward and told the boy in front of me to get ready, Drew will probably need some help.  Boy was I wrong!

The MC asked Drew his name…and he said it into the microphone.  Phew.  She then asked him what a Korean food is.  Drew says “Bibimbap!”  The MC smiled, seemed shocked and said “you know Bibimbap?!” and proceeded to walk around the stage and describe the dish to the audience (bibimbap is “mixed up rice” – rice, meat, veggies, an egg all mixed up in a bowl).  As the MC walked away describing the dish, I secretly hoped that she had forgotten that she had asked Drew to name THREE Korean foods and would just move on with the program.  But, no.  She came back, bent down and asked Drew for another food.  I had absolutely no idea what he was going to say and moved over a chair closer to the aisle in case the meltdown occurred.  But, out of Drew’s mouth came “Rice cakes!”  We have never had rice cakes….and I cannot even remember reading to him about rice cakes.  But…he is of course right and the MC went on to tell the audience the Korean names for different rice cakes (which I totally tuned out because I was just in shock of Drew’s bravery and smarts).  By this point, I have slowly gained enough faith and confidence in Drew to realize that I have a camera in my hand and have not taken a single picture [if only I had thought to video the whole thing!!] – Damon is missing it all!!)  As Drew tells the MC his third Korean food, “Kimchi!”, I tried to take a few pictures but failed miserably because I was just so darn proud of my Drew-man and did not want to miss a single real-live moment.  The MC thanked Drew, gave him a very cool Korean fan, and then Drew strut back to his seat with a smile on his face.

So…for the last nine days, I’ve kinda been strutting around with a smile on my face…’cause my oldest son has effortless begun embracing his little brother’s culture.

I.SO.COULD.NOT.BE.PROUDER.

Drew just finshed saying Kimchi...

Drew and his cousin walking back to their seats with the fan (it's in Drew's left hand - I'm such a good photographer!)

Proof of the fan...the taekwondo guys were coming on stage, no time to look at the camera! 

Until next time…I’ll be hoping this is the week the next EP batch goes in – it’s time, we're ready for some Korean culture up-close-and-personal!  (I am quite confident we WON’T be in this batch…but another batch into the Ministry means we’re just that much closer)

rewind

We have been home from our trip to Michigan for nearly a week and a half...but unfortunately it already feels like we left there months, not weeks ago.  Life in the real world quickly makes you wonder if those wonderful vacation moments really ever existed.  Thankfully some of those moments were captured so they can be revisited for days and years to come.  Here are just a few of my favorites from the cottage: 4th of july 2010.

Drew & Granny anxious to pick

JACKPOT! - the catch phrase for a big bunch of ripe blueberries

Drew ate more than went into his bucket - and this is how some were eaten

Fireworks

goofy! (wonder if the lady in the background is playing along too?)

yummy chocolate-chocolate-chocolate dessert

lovin' the beach!

lovin' Captin Sundae - a strawberry sundae with chocolate ice cream

next year there will be four of us hangin' with CS

an annual tradition - this year 39.5 inches

Drew's right on the board with me, my brother and cousins

one of many jumps into the warm & wavy lake

Bob Evan's parking lot...my two boys in the backseat - one holding the other

busted

So, it turns out that our agency has become aware that families from our agency are sending “additional” care packages to Korea through families traveling from other agencies. How? The Korean agency told them…and told them that they are not happy about it – it’s creating too much additional work to distribute these extra care packages and is therefore taking away from the care and case management of the children.

GUILTY

BUT…can you really blame us (and when I write “us” I really hope the agency is defining the term not as “us - the Krekelbergs”…but as “us - all those waiting to travel that found a better way to get packages to our children”. The agency wouldn't put out a program-wide scolding reminder if it was just "us - the Krekelbergs", would they? I so hope not. Otherwise, I am thoroughly embarrassed and will have extreme guilt for days/weeks/months).

But really, we - the Krekelbergs,- submitted our first care package to the agency in March and from my best estimation [as I got no confirmation of delivery], it did not reach Leo’s hands until early June. That’s not exactly timely. So, when I saw an opportunity to get some more love to Leo, I took it. Who knew if there’d ever be another opportunity before we traveled.

I am such a rule follower…to a fault. So, believe me when I say I had doubts about sending the latest care package to Leo through a bloggy-friend – I so did not want to get in trouble. I hate getting in trouble. The doubts didn’t exactly last long, but I definitely had them. And as it turns out, I guess my doubts were warranted. But, while I do feel really bad, I am still glad I broke the loosely defined rules of our agency (they never said we couldn't send packages with others traveling, they just said we could only send [at the time] one package through them). Leo has more pictures of us and a cute little doggie to drool all over. It may have taken some additional administrative effort to get the package to Leo…for that I apologize…but if it helps easy the transition come this fall, won’t it have been worth it for everyone?!?

I just really, really hope that our “additional” package of care and love to Leo does not negatively affect the Korean agency’s opinion of us...us - the Krekelbergs AND us - all those from our agency waiting to travel. It would not be good if the consequences of our actions impacted all our EP submission and/or travel call urgency. That would be bad. Very bad. Oh the guilt I would have then!

[Yikes, I wonder it the Korean agency told our agency which families caused all the trouble?! Please let us have remained anonymous!]

Until next time…maybe I’ll level the playing field and reduce administrative burden by planning on not sending another package through our agency to Leo. Maybe.

cloud nine

It is never easy to come back home from vacation (especially really fun & relaxing ones like the one we just had)...but yesterday, as we drove down the highway out of Holland and the inbox on my smartphone filled and then the car filled with the sound of beeps and the sight of the all-important little red light indicating a new message, I optimistically scanned all the messages from the past 18 hours since we'd been in town last and then as calmly as I could said WE HAVE AN UPDATE! And then, suddenly, leaving the cottage became that much easier.

There were three separate email messages from our Specialist. They were titled Update for "Leo", PHOTOS!, and A Few More.

I didn't open a single message until we were safely parked in the shaded back parking lot of a Bob Evans restaurant still within the Holland city limits. We sat there and read the long list of updates and looked at the NINE new pictures of our handsome little boy over and over again...I even forwarded the two messages full of pictures to Damon's phone so we could pass two phones with pictures around amongst the three of us. All three of us fell in love all over again. Leo is an adorable, healthy, and happy little dude!

So, without further ado...here are some of the highlight's from Leo's 11 month check-in on July 2nd.

• He says "ahhpa" [Korean word for daddy], "umma" [Korean word for mommy]
• He copies/imitates songs and nursery rhymes that the foster mother does.
• He is very active
• He eats boiled rice with beef and mushrooms, soft bread and cookies, yoplait, and pieces of corn.
• He uses a straw well on his own.
• When the foster mother makes the forumla, he sees and knows what she is doing so he yells to give it to him fast.
• He takes 5-6 steps on his own.
• He mostly crawls when going to where he want to go in the foster home, but he also cruises while holidng onto furniture.
• He "dances" when music is played.
• When someone calls on the telephone to the foster family, he wants to "talk" on the phone and holds it up to his face.

We shared our exciting news with our family during a pit-stop in Chicago (the museum of science and industry and the best chicago style pizza ever) and then headed to Rockford for the night. And this morning we got to share all this wonderful news IN PERSON with Kris and X - it was so great to meet and get to know them both in the real world! My first blog-world turned real world friends...you guys are so great! We had such a good time, I really wish we could have stayed longer!

Until next time...we'll be hanging out up here on cloud nine for a little bit enjoying the new views of our son!