alright

Eight weeks.
Leo joined our family eight weeks ago and I continue to be in awe of the ease at which he has melded into our family.  Leo's personality continues to come out and shine - he is bold and daring (we could have named him Knievel); he is sweet and gentle (he picks up bugs like they are fine china); he is curious and smart (he likes to take our finger and lead us to what he needs help with or with what he wants to show us by using our finger to point); and he is seriously funny and loves his music (peek-a-boo creates some of the best laughs i have ever heard and  music and dancing solve all his problems).

When you are in the long waiting process, thoughts and worries come and go in and out of our head.  For me, I worried a lot about how adoption would affect Drew...and how living in the "wish-it-were-more-diverse" community that we do and adopting a child from Korea would affect both my sons.  Slowly, I am learning that this is a mothers' worry that will never completely go away - it's my job to worry...to protect...to prepare...and to pray that everything will be alright.

Throughout our adoption journey there were "signs" every step of the way that showed us that things were "alright"...big milestones such as application submissions, pre-adoption class, our official waiting date, referral acceptance, and EP approval all fell on a significant birthday or anniversary.  Now that Leo is home...I've wondered how I'm going to know that things are still "alright"...will I get any signs?  I now know that if I pray for reassurance, I will get it.  Over the past weeks I've gotten my signs:

Drew will be alright.
After much angst on my part, we switched Drew to a new "school" this past May - it was torture for me to move him from the place and friends that he'd known since he was four months old.  But, things just were not right there on so many levels.  It took a while, but Drew (and Damon & I) now LOVE his new "school".  His teacher is amazing...he looks forward to "school' days...and has made some really great friends.  One of these friends (his best friend) invited him to his 5th birthday party at a local theme restaurant - and of course he went.  I had seen this friend's mom during pick-up before, but did not really know her or the boy very well...I just new that this boy and Drew are inseparable at "school".  I dropped Drew off at the party...and he and this boy gave each other the biggest hug I'd ever seen a 4 or 5 year old boy give each other and then talked to the mom a bit.  During that conversation, she said she'd heard we had just adopted...congratulated us...and then continued to say that she didn't know if I knew or not, but her (birthday boy) son was adopted.  He was adopted domestically at birth.  She said that he knows he was adopted but she doesn't know how much he really understands yet.  All I could say was..."now he has a friend who understands a little more than other people will".  As I left the restaurant with tears swelling in my eyes and a smile on my face, I knew that things were going to be "alright".  How comforting to know another family in the immediate area that grew through adoption.  And, seriously what are the odds that Drew's best friend right now would be adopted?  I mean really.  A big huge sign that our family is more "normal" than I often think it is...and a big huge sign that things will be alright.

Leo will be alright.
The next night we went to out to dinner.  For whatever reason we put both boys on one side of the table and we sat next to each other for a change.  As we were enjoying our dinner (as much as one can enjoy a dinner out with a 4 year old and a 1 year old as they cry & whine and we have to try and cut up their food faster than they shovel it into their mouths so you can have some of your own dinner before they are finished), in came a family that sat down at the table in front of Damon and I.  A white couple in their sixties and their adult son (Korean) sat facing us and with their backs to us were the couple's adult daughter (Korean) and the son's wife.  This is not a common sighting in our community - they were obviously on their way back from Up North.  They were happy and engaged in conversation.  I felt like I was looking into a crystal ball that was showing me part of our future - a grown up Leo, happy and married and still enjoying the company of his parents.  And, it was alright!  [the son looked a little uncomfortable at first seeing us - like he was looking in a mirror that was showing him his life 20-some years ago...until Leo turned around and made friends.  it was awesome.]

We're all going to be alright.
And, if that were not enough reassurance from the big guy upstairs...we finally met a family that lives in our neighborhood at the new neighborhood park [which i am beginning to think was built solely for the purpose of this story - now that my purpose on the park & rec commission is understood & accomplished, maybe it's time to quit?!].  On some of our nightly family walks before we went to Seoul to bring Leo home we had seen a multicultural family (mom is white, dad is asian) and had exchanged pleasantries, but no real conversation.  That changed at the park one day this October.  The dad was there with his kids and saw Damon and I chasing Leo around.  He asked how old Leo was - I told him.  He asked Leo name - I told him.  He commented on how much hair Leo had - I laughed.  He introduced me to his kids (a toddler & a baby) and that was that...Until the next week when I was going for a walk with Leo in the middle of the day and ran into this dad and another dad that we know - they were taking there kids to the park.  He remembered me and Leo - and then asked if Leo was Korean.  I said yes, and that we'd been home for just over a month.  He asked where he was born - I told him Busan.  He said that's where is sister was born and that he was born in Seoul.  He asked what Leo's Korean name was and he told me his - and that they Americanized it to name his son.  All I could think was "it's going to be alright"...here is a happy, friendly, outgoing adult Korean adoptee with a lovely family living right here in my neighborhood.  Things are definitely going to be alright.  Better than alright.  As the days and months and years go by...things are going to be even more incredible.awesome. wonderful.amazing.OUTSTANDING.

one special and lovable little dude! 

Until next time...somebody is another month older!