six point five

today was drew’s half-birthday

6.5

as hard as it was for me to believe that leo was already at the half-way-to-four mark, it is even more unfathomable to me that in a mere six months drew will be seven.  seven sounds so old!! so grown-up.  so on his way to doing cool big boy things. so exciting. really.

as much as i want to hang on to drew...keep all his awesomeness to myself...it is so cool to see him grow and discover and find his own way.  he has always been an amazing kid...and i have no doubt that he'll continue to amaze and inspire all those around him.

so, drew...happy half birthday. i hope you enjoyed our extra time together this morning, that you had fun sledding and drinking hot cocoa with friends at school, that you were surprised and felt special when dad surprised you at lunch and when he read to your class this afternoon, and that you felt all of six-point-five as you stayed up past your bedtime on a school night and ran around the ice arena with your friends cheering on the high school hockey team to their first play-off victory of the year.  i wish for you to have many, many more happy days like today.

and...as you continue to make your way to seven, drew-man...i wish these things for you too:

that you lose your first tooth before you celebrate your birthday

that you score even more goals and display even better sportsmanship in your new black hockey helmet (i will miss your white one - as it made you easy to find on the ice since you were the only one on the team with a white one)

that you allow me to take your picture so i can forever capture your sweetness, silliness, & love for life

that you continue to perfect (and amaze me with) your kendama skills

that you continue to learn how to swim like a fish in pools. lakes, and maybe even oceans too

that you keep cheering on the Hoosiers with me all the way to a National Championship

that you keep trying new things - discovering what you like, what you dislike, and what you love

that you take yourself to a world of new places and meet interesting new people in all the books you read

that you make new friends...and hang on to the good friends you already have

that you continue to discover who you are and who you want to be

that you find happiness and love in everything that you do

happy half way to seven, drew!!! you are one incredible kid.

until next time...make the most of each moment

extraordinary

All three of my boys turned the big “half” this month.

2.5

37.5

5.5

Even before Damon and I had kids, we tended to unofficially celebrate our half birthdays with a little treat.  We even enjoyed a delicious chocolate cake earlier this month for Leo and Damon’s half birthdays.  But starting with Drew’s half birthday, we realized we needed to kick it up a notch.  You see, if you’re in elementary school and you’ve got a summer birthday…you get to celebrate your half birthday in school.  Special birthday chair.  Special lunch in the classroom with the teacher and a friend.  Special treats.  Special song.  Special class birthday book to document your day in. Special Day all-around.

Drew has always been an amazing kid.  Passionate.  Smart.  Sensitive.  Competitive.  And, at five-and-a-half, those qualities have only intensified.  Nothing exemplifies that more than how he has handled his half birthday.  He’s the youngest kid in his class (and i’d be willing to bet the youngest kid in his school…but…shh!! don’t tell him.  this really troubles him.) and one of the shortest (this bothers him too…poor dude. i am truly sorry.).  But, there is no doubt in my mind that he has also got to be one of the most thoughtful in his class.

You see, Drew’s true half birthday was on February 21, 2012.  But, that was the date of a classmate’s actual sixth birthday.  So, Drew asked us if he could celebrate his half birthday on the 22^nd instead – since “the 21^st is Anna’s real birthday and we should each have our own special day”.  When I asked his teacher, she said “Of course Drew would think of that!  And, of course he can celebrate on the 22^nd.”  I honestly don’t think Drew was being selfish in wanting his own day (and, if he was, can you blame him?).  I really believe he wanted Anna to have her own day – you should not have to share your actual birthday.  And, it was “just” his half birthday after all.  It’s this type of sensitivity and thoughtfulness that continues to amaze me and bring a smile to my face.  I love that he thinks of things like this…and has the confidence to ask for what he wants.

Drew also struggled with whom to share his special lunchtime with.  Drew has been chosen by other classmates a number of times.  And, for the past few weeks when we’d ask if he knew who he was going to pick he would answer “I’m still thinking about it.”  He seriously put a lot of thought into this decision.  Damon and I wondered if it was going to be one of the kids that had previously chosen him or one of the boys that he plays football with during recess.  Never had it really crossed our mind that it would be a girl.  But, earlier this week when we pressed him to tell us who he had narrowed his choice down to.  He gave us the name of two girls and told us which one he was leaning towards.  When we asked why, he said “because she hasn’t had a turn.  Nobody has chosen her yet” – a fact that he had observed all on his own.  What makes the story even sweeter, I think, is that at decision-time it came down to a Guatemalan adoptee and an Asian – neither of which Drew thought had ever been picked.  I will not allow myself to think about reasons why these two girls have yet to be chosen (or my worrying about Leo’s future will intensify).  But, I will allow myself to believe that once again the gift of adoption keeps on giving.  I will believe that a world of difference has been made to my very wise, very compassionate, very sensitive, very worldly five-and-a-half year old kindergartener….simply because of the make-up of our family.  He’s taking our “normal” and spreading it throughout his classroom.  And, that makes me very, very proud.  [or, maybe I am reading way too much into things and he’s simply serious about his requests for a sister and just wanted to spend sometime with a girl to see what it would be like. that’s cool too.]

(Drew indeed ended up picking one of those girls and had a great lunch.  The girl he chose is a GREAT reader (as Drew has mentioned on more than one occasion) – something Drew longs to be.  So, besides eating and talking with the teacher…they also played a reading card game.   “AWESOME!” was how Drew described his Birthday Day at school.  I thank Drew’s teacher for that.  She has done an amazing job all year making school and learning fun, memorable and special.  What an impact this year will have on the years of schooling ahead.  Drew is so lucky.)

While we had not really planned on a “big” celebration for Drew’s half birthday, a big birthday bag from school changed all that.  The bag had about five books to read about birthdays and a big three ring binder with sheets for each classmate to share their birthday celebrations.  Each sheet needed to be filled out that night with what they did to celebrate – including a drawn picture – and be presented to the class the next morning.  We couldn’t send Drew to school with some lame non-celebration.  So, after a quick dinner at home, we went out for dessert to celebrate Drew’s half birthday.  We headed to the new restaurant in town…quickly giving up our new “date place”…and enjoyed some yummy treats as a family.  Drew thought the place was kinda “fancy” and I think the boys really felt important there.  That’s the point, right?  Drew got the big birthday cupcake which was topped off with an awesome celebratory sparkler.  The rest of us enjoyed some ice cream and apple-walnut crisp.  It was all delicious.  Aside from making a yummy dessert decision, Drew also displayed his curiosity and confidence by asking the waitress for a tour of the kitchen (they said no – but let us peek in) and then later asked for a kid’s fork for his brother.  I was so proud of him for once again politely and confidently speaking up for what he wanted.  He’s growing up so fast!

not scared...goofy!

Our evening at the restaurant ended sitting in big cozy, leather club chairs by a gorgeous stone fireplace listening to great live music.  Leo was mesmerized by the musician strumming his guitar and singing, among other things, Brown Eyed Girl…with my alternate lyrics of “my brown eyed boy” whispered in his ear.  Drew looked so comfortable and relaxed just lounging and taking it all in – looking very much just 5.5 sitting in the big chair…but yet also looking wise beyond his years when I caught a glimpse of his beautiful blue eyes starring off dreaming of who-knows-what.  And, when both boys climbed on Damon’s lap…I wanted time to freeze.  Tears swelled and I felt an enormous amount of pride – those are my boys…that’s my family…lucky, lucky, lucky me!  It was one of those unexpected moments that make an ordinary weekday night something extraordinary.  Moments that will be forever imprinted in my brain and my heart.  It was an evening that reminded me that life is short…and that we should make and take every opportunity we can to celebrate even little mundane things in life.  Half birthday celebrations are here to stay at All Accounted Four.  You should start the tradition as well…we promise you will not regret it.

Until next time…go turn the ordinary into the extraordinary with a little celebration.

the gift of seollal

back in december, drew’s kindergarten class did a unit on winter holidays around the world. his teacher sent home a note asking for parent volunteers to come in and share their cultural traditions.  polish winter holiday traditions…don’t really practice any despite our heritage.  i know quite a bit about dutch sinterklaas…but we aren’t dutch.  seollal is in the winter…it’s korean…and so is leo…hmmm

i always thought i would be giving a presentation like this to leo’s classes…helping his classmates and teachers understand and connect to his culture.  it never really occurred to me that i could (should) do this for drew and his classmates too.  but, why not?!?  i said it then, and I will say it again now…the gift of adoption keeps on giving!! so, i did my homework and prepared to give a presentation on the korean new year that hopefully the kids would like and also learn something from.

on decemeber 12^th i got to spend some time in drew’s classroom teaching them about seollal – the korean lunar new year.  i explained that korean new year is called sol-nal and that this winter it will be on january 23;  that sol-nal lasts three days and is a time for families to get together to celebrate and honor the older members in the family...with no school or work people in korea during this time.  and then i asked them if they wanted to learn how to count to four in korean by learning four important things that korean kids get to do on their new year’s day.  they did!

here is what they learned

on new year’s day in korea, korean kids:

hah-NAH (1) wear something nice - they get dressed up in nice clothes or their traditional hanbok [i brought in leo’s hanbok and showed the class pictures of what a girl’s hanbok looked like]

tool (2) do something nice for their grandparents – they give respect to their grandparents by bowing and then their grandparents give them words of wisdom and a gift – usually some money. the kids were so excited to point out that chinese kids get money at new year’s too! [i taught the boys…and then the girls…how to bow.  they did a great job!]

set (3) eat a special meal that always includes a soup with dumplings in it [i described dumplings and taught the kids how to say mandu.  i also told the class that koreans believe that you don’t turn another year older until you eat this soup – and that kids like to joke around and ask people how many bowls of soup they’ve had - & tell them that they are now that many years older]

net (4) play games – kite flying for the boys, see saw for the girls and yutnori for the whole family [i showed the class a book/picture of girls playing on the see saw and also brought in yutnori – letting the kids pass around the game sticks and showing them some of the basics of the game]

during my entire time in the classroom, i was so proud of drew!!  he was engaged and visibly proud.  proud that i was there.  proud that our family is part korean.  and, proud to help me teach his classmates how to count to four in korean and share with them is favorite korean foods.  adoption…the gift that keeps on giving.

drew’s classmates asked quite a few questions…most of which i don’t remember because they weren’t exactly on topic.  but, one of drew’s buddies asked the last question – and it was a good one.  he asked if i was born in korea. i said no, i was born in the united states – in michigan.  he then asked if drew was born in korea.  i said no, he was born in minneapolis.  [at this point I started to sweat and pretty much feared that this kid had figured out i was an imposture…a fraud…just a mom reading from the internet] and then i said, drew’s brother was born in korea and last year we went there to bring him home.  that seemed to appease him…but then i really started to sweat! did i really just say that…had i just opened pandora’s box? how many more questions were now swirling around in this kid’s head and the heads of his classmates because of this statement? this was not the time to discuss adoption…and thankfully, i was able to successfully change the subject.

afterwards, it clicked for me though.  the question was a good and innocent one.  he simply wanted to know if i had been born in korea.  which, after thinking about it, i very well could have been.  or I could have been born in mexico or israel or russia or somewhere in africa.  kindergarteners still think of people just as people.  no stereotypes.  no judgments.  they think of people just with simple and innocent curiosity.  what a gift that is.  and, i am so happy…so honored…that was i was able to go into drew’s classroom in december and help those kids learn a little bit more about kids half way around the globe in korea.  to help them see and understand that in many ways kids are all alike…celebrating important holidays with their extended families, wearing nice clothes and eating special food, and playing their favorite games with family and friends…just like we do here.

seollal is just a few days away  and it appears the krekelbergs have added a new way to bring in the lunar new year.  forget superstitions like eating black-eyed peas, kissing at midnight or throwing salt over your shoulder.  what we did (and you might want to consider) is break a big ole jar of kimchi and let our house and garage smell nice and spicy/stinky (or “good!” as drew would tell you) to welcome in the new year!!  yep, unintentionally, that’s what we’ve done.  so far, it is definitely serving as a nice reminder of our korean heritage.  hopefully it will bring us some luck in 2012 too!

we also plan doing some more traditional things too…taking in a korean drum and dance performance and eating some korean food.  and, we plan on keeping the lights on in our house throughout sunday night.  we wholeheartedly want to welcome the new year - as they do in korea - with brightness and open eyes. what a great way to do it!   i love the symbolism!!

until next time…happy seollal ~ shine bright!

**a big thanks to drew's teacher for the pictures**

previously at all accounted four

curious as to what we were up to over the past five months…no need to be anymore!

kindergarten.

despite all my worry and stress around when to send drew to kindergarten, getting him into the everyday program and adjusting to school life, things are going pretty darn good.  drew has an amazing teacher. he loves being part of an advanced math “team”.  he’s on the very verge of a serious reading break-through – i am already so impressed with all the words he’s already reading! he made the coolest christmas gift in art class – a beautiful and functional green clay bell. he has made a lot of new friends…and lives to play football on recess.  and, if chicken patty is on the hot lunch menu…he has to have it!

heading into kindergarten open house

drew and his crazy-fun teacher

first day of school

family day.

kindergarten started on september 6^th…and the next day we celebrated the first anniversary of being a family of four.  some call this Gotcha Day or Family Day.  we are still looking for a term that fits our family.  no doubt, this day is super duper special day.  but, quite honestly, we found it a little difficult and awkward to celebrate.  we all understand that leo officially joined our family on a day other than the day he was born.  but, yet, it’s still hard to explain or justify why leo gets another whole day for him with gifts and cake and attention.  i did my research…looking up and checking out how other people celebrate this important day.  a special korean meal.  gifts of korean heritage or adoption related given.  paying respects to birthparents and foster parents.  but nowhere did i find a resource for how to celebrate a “gotcha day” for families that have both biological and adopted children.  for me, it’s a tricky day to celebrate.  do not get me wrong, i really don’t what to lose sight of the importance of this day for leo…i just want to make sure we also celebrate it in a way that recognizes both my sons…of us as a family - all accounted four.

we still need to find that balance and come up with our own traditions for this day.  hopefully by this september 7^th, we’ll have thought of something really good.  as for 2011…we took a picture.  we ate cake.  chocolate cake.  and, most importantly, we were happy to be eating it together.

that was one yummy cake

school pictures.

this fall we sent both the boys to school one morning looking handsome and ready for pictures…hoping and praying they still looked good by the time it was time for pictures to be taken.  they turned out better than ok, don’t ya think??

dallas.

in early october, i did the unthinkable…i took a spur of the moment, last-minute solo trip to dallas, texas to hang out with my college roommate and cheer on the detroit tigers during american league championship series.  those that really know me understand how out of character that was for me.  it was too spontaneous.  but, i decided to go…and the next morning before the sun was up, I was on my way to the airport.   i still cannot believe i went!! but i am so glad i did…even if the tigers lost the first game in the POURING rain (oh, the rain delays) and I missed game two due to postponement due to rain.  it was so great to see kristen and re-connect.  thanks, again, kristen for helping make this wonderful trip possible!!

fall break.

after two road trips to the cottage already under our belt for the year, we thought “what the heck! let’s do it again!” so, we packed up the vehicle and made the 10 hour road trip.  it was the first time the boys (damon, drew, and leo) had been to the cottage in the fall…and it was just beautiful!  while we couldn’t go swimming, we still had a lot of fun while there running on the beach, playing baseball, riding bikes, playing in the leaves, going to the zoo, shopping and hitting some brew pubs.  but, i think best of all, damon and i got a whole evening out to celebrate our anniversary.  it was perfect.  absolutely perfect.

hockey.

i am officially a hockey mom! (i’ve even got a button to prove it.)

drew has been enjoying hockey immensely…and i seriously cannot believe how much his skating has improved in just a few short months.  jumping over the blue line, skating on one foot, stopping without “superman-ing” onto the ice, learning to skate backwards…there is no doubt he is now a better skater than i am!

#4...my self proclaimed defenseman

not wanting to leave the arena...even after a 2 hour practice

thanksgiving.

call us crazy, but we made a fourth trip to michigan over thanksgiving break. this time we made it to detroit…and we flew.  we were the picture perfect, happy and experienced traveling family – until we had to circle and circle and circle detroit before landing…it was during that time that leo’s terrible screaming two’s came out in full force.  and, to be honest…so did my tears. passengers did not like us – oh, those stares. and the flight attendants threw FAA regulations out the window – sitting down, trays up, seat belts…no need!!  good times.  luckily, the flight home was much more uneventful.

it was good to be “home” for thanksgiving. and, really good to finally meet little jjb!!  jj is just the sweetest and cutest little baby boy – we just love our nephew/cousin!

we ate A LOT in Detroit…i felt like every fb status update was about the great eating or drinking establishment we were at.  besides my mom’s fabulous cooking (there’s not a better Thanksgiving dinner), we got to eat my all-time favorite pizza (twice); we enjoyed a yummy coney island breakfast (twice); damon and i started a date night at a highly recommended korean restaurant – which i still find myself craving; and a trip of ours to michigan would not be complete without stopping in at a couple microbreweries (as one of damon’s beer club members said, upon seeing yet another beer related fb post from michigan, “you guys take the best vacations!” – the people at Pure Michigan would be so pleased to hear that!).  yet, i feel like there are even more places we could have gone to eat while there – we totally missed greek town, mexican village and our favorite polish place.  next time.

besides eating and drinking we did a lot of fun stuff…built marble runs, checked out my elementary school playground, went to a Whalers hockey game, cheered on a friend’s son at his youth basketball game (way to go Luke!), braved the cold and enjoyed the balloons, floats, bands, and clowns at the detroit thanksgiving day parade, had fun learning at two of our favorite museums – the Henry Ford and the Ann Arbor Hands-On, played euchre with an incredible couple we are so blessed to call our friends, introduced my gymnastics coach to my family (while the boys jumped in the pits and swung on the bars), and really just enjoyed hanging out and relaxing with my side of the family.

christmas trees and santa’s preferred mode of transportation.

we love kicking off the christmas season with a trip to our favorite tree farm. thousands of trees to choose from, kettle corn to eat, carriage rides to take, hot dogs to roast, a big straw fort and maze to play in, and the arrival of santa claus – by helicopter.  [to this day, when leo sees a helicopter he points and shouts “santa!”.  at least he knows it’s santa now, for the first two weeks of December he was calling santa “noah”.]

so…there you have it…phew!

All Accounted Four is all caught up.

until next time…