reflecting

the next seven days are big ones here at all accounted four.  it was one year ago tomorrow that we (known then as three and counting) boarded a big beautiful blue plane and traveled half way around the world to finally...finally...be with leo.  it was a big deal then.  and, it's still a big deal now.  and big deals deserve some attention.

becoming all accounted four took time and patience and lots and lots of love.  tomorrow marks one year since we began that final stretch of waiting to complete our family.  that time was so special and important that i want to take the next seven days to revisit and share the posts of a year ago - remembering the incredible time we had in korea and reflecting on how far we've come as a family that is truly all accounted for.  but, before we do that i also want to share some thoughts about this adoption journey that we're on.

supportive family and friends make all the difference.

in the beginning...before we even filled out and returned our first piece of adoption paperwork...damon and i were stalkers.  we scoured the web in search of adoption information and found you tube videos and blogs.  before those people even knew we existed, they became our supportive friends. friends we'd refer to by the name of their blog.  and, thankfully, we eventually came out of hiding and have become honest to goodness friends with some of these amazing families (whether we've met in person yet or not).  i feel so honored to be on a first name basis with some of these ladies.  truly honored.  i can only hope that somehow through this blog and through my interactions with others i can provide the support, encouragement, and wisdom that all these new-found and amazing people have shown me to others. 

once we announced we were adopting...which, thinking back, was an exciting yet nerve-racking thing to do (would people be supportive? were we prepared to answer questions? would our families shun us?)...i was overwhelmed with the support of friends and family.  from our parents to wine club to co-workers to the teachers at drew's school.  it was an awesome and amazing feeling to finally share our news.  still is.  damon and i feel so blessed to know we have so many friends and family members we can count on.  to all of you...thank you.  thank you for being there for us.  and thank you for accepting and loving leo from day one.  it means the world to us.  and, please know that as you are and have been there for us, we too are there for you whenever you need our friendship and support.

we took drew with us to korea…and we’d make that decision again in a heartbeat.

from the very beginning of the adoption process, i think deep down damon and i knew that drew would be coming with us to bring leo home.  bringing a newly minted four year old on such a long and emotional trip might sound crazy to some.  but, whenever we pictured meeting leo for the first time or stepping off the airplane back home, drew was there with us.  he is part of our family…the family leo was joining…and therefore we knew he should be the first to meet leo right there with us in seoul – not via pictures on the computer or as part of a group of people at the airport.  we all belonged together...even if that meant seeing, doing, and eating differently in seoul than we would have had just damon and i gone.

we also thought it was really important for drew to see korea and experience leo’s birth culture.  drew had shown a lot of interest learning about korea throughout our wait to bring leo home…learning (and liking) different korean foods, learning to count in korean, enjoying drum and taekwondo performances…that not taking him to experience all this firsthand just seemed wrong.

and…personally…i really, honestly, truly believe that having drew there in korea and on the plane home helped make leo’s transition into our family a thousand times smoother.  and, likewise, drew’s transition into big brotherhood a little easier.  kids like kids.  and, i think leo was really comforted knowing there was a kid there with him and for him.

[more morbidly thinking, i just hated the thought of leaving drew at home and telling him we were going to go get his little brother – i mean really, what if the plane crashed and damon and i both died?!? i had my self convinced that drew would forever think that we’d just stayed in korea with his little brother and just never came back for him.  so, with thoughts like those…the decision was made.  drew was coming with us!!]

we could not have picked a better hotel to call home in korea.

we often hear drew say “i miss korea”. but what we know he more specifically means is that he misses the breakfast at the hotel in seoul.  (and maybe the pool and playing table tennis at the hotel.) but whatever it actually is that he loves.  It brings complete joy to me to know that he misses korea.  he has memories that…without doubt…will last a lifetime.  memories that he will share with leo and strengthen their bond of brotherhood throughout their lives.

as for damon and I, we loved the hotel too.  we loved it’s location.  we loved the comforts and ease of staying there.  we loved the big bathrooms, the cozy beds, the view of n seoul tower.  (we loved the breakfasts too).  we would stay at the fraser suites again.  in seoul or anywhere in the world.

we should have asked people to take more pictures of us as a family of four.

believe it or not, we don’t have any pictures of just me, damon, and leo…or me, damon, drew and leo in korea.  it flabbergasts me.  it makes me sad.  and, i am sure surprises and shocks anyone reading this.  but, slowly i am getting over it.  it’s just one of the negative aspects of meeting leo on the morning of a typhoon (and traveling with a four year old, i am sure).  thankfully, i know i don’t need pictures of four of us together to remember the events and happiness of those first moments and days together.  i just hope that in the future, leo doesn’t need them either.

we do have lots of other pictures...and some great ones with leo's foster mom.  i think those are important too. and, in the long run probably more important since we can't get those shots anymore.

we miss seoul…long to explore more of busan…and think the 2018 Winter Olympics would be a great time to re-visit.

what an honor it will be to take leo back to korea and all explore his birth country together!! i cannot wait. this longing to travel back to korea is a constant reminder to me that our adoption journey did not end the moment we stepped off the plane in the states.  nor did it end the day we finalized the adoption.  or does it end on september 7th when we celebrate leo's first family day.  this journey our family is on lasts a lifetime and will be full of culture and learning.  it's a journey i would not trade for anything in the world...and a journey i am so proud to be on with the three most amazing boys in the world.  thank you damon, drew, and leo for being my all accounted four.

Until next time…prepare to travel back to korea with us!