it was spring of 1996 when i got the news that my grandmother…lzb…had pancreatic cancer and only a short time to live. i was about to graduate from college…and while i wish she and my grandpa could have been at the graduation ceremony, i am just so thankful she lived through the summer so her entire family could come together and spend so much time with her before she died.
jjb loved lzb
they wrote letters to each other during WWII
they danced and played bridge together
jjb would make lzb nightly ice cream sundaes and paint her finger nails for her when macular degeneration took away her sight
my grandpa took care of my grandmother…and he stayed by her side until the very end of her life
in the last week or so of lzb’s life, she’d often franticly ask for…demand, actually…her hat. there was no hat to give. sometimes we’d simply try and tell her that she didn’t have a hat in the room to put on. that didn’t always work so well. and, other times we would wisely play along and hand her an imaginary hat. she’d take that imaginary hat and put it on with the biggest, happiest, beaming grin i’d ever seen. i finally asked her why she needed her hat. she said she was going on a trip. she was going to see her ma and pa…and was so afraid of being late and missing the train.
my grandpa’s days here with us are numbered. they say he might have until the end of the week, and it turns out not even until the end of today. it’s a pretty difficult thing for me to accept. i can beat myself up all day (and night) long thinking about all the times I told myself I was going to call him…the last time he heard and recognized my voice was in april when i was in tucson. i never dialed the number, and that just doesn’t seem right. i should have made more of an effort. called more. sent more cards and pictures. i can only hope that he knows how often i think about him, just how much he meant to me; how much I love him…damon loves him...and how much his great-grandsons love him.
i will be forever grateful for our trip this past spring to see him. drew got to play baseball with his great grandpa!! jjb got to meet, hold, and kiss leo!! and, i got to give him a long embrace – one in which i held on a little longer knowing deep down it was going to be the last one we shared.
so grandpa…as hard as it is for me to say it…it is ok for you to go. you’ve held on longer than any of us dreamed possible and blessed us with your grace and love. but now grandpa, please grab your bucket hat…hop on that train…and go to your love. it’s time for lzb and jjb to be together again. she’s been waiting a long, long, long time for you.
john j bona
april 11, 1922 - july 18, 2011
until next time…i’ve got some black bucket hats to order for the family
5 comments:
hi sue,
you have wonderful memories of your grandparents to keep you warm and remind you who you are and where you came from. so sweet! and we always want more, but it was his time to go.
JJB and LZB were loving, decent, hard working and kind people. that is how i remember them. and it was so special for me to speak with your grandfather at your wedding. i teased him about "keeping company" with a lady and he very quickly responded that NO ONE could ever come close to your grandmother. he set me straight and danced with me!
love to you and damon and special kisses for the little boys,
karen ridgway
I am sad for your family to have to say goodbye to such an amazing man....but happy that he is reunited with his true love. I am so glad that you had that trip this spring. What wonderful memories for you and your boys!!!
oh sue, I know this must have been so difficult for you to write. I lost my grandmother (last living grandparent) in February and I shared such similar emotions about the "should of picked up the phone more"...we didn't love them any less and I truly believe they know that. I'm so happy that you were able to spend that time with him in April and he got to see the boys. I think he had everything he needed in order to join Izb.. Rest peacefully with that.
Lots of love being sent your way through this difficult time. I cried a lot when my Grammy passed. A lot.. and it seemed like for weeks. So let it all out and I'm here if you need anything at all! xoxoxoxo
Oh Sue, this is beautiful. I'm so Very very sorry for your loss... But so happy you had that one last trip! My thoughts and prayers are with you, and my heart is heavy with your loss. Hugs friend.
i am so sorry for your loss, sue...your grandparents sound like they were amazing and so loved. and how awesome that both your boys got to spend time with jjb before he passed.
love and hugs to you...
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