extraordinary

All three of my boys turned the big “half” this month.

2.5

37.5

5.5

Even before Damon and I had kids, we tended to unofficially celebrate our half birthdays with a little treat.  We even enjoyed a delicious chocolate cake earlier this month for Leo and Damon’s half birthdays.  But starting with Drew’s half birthday, we realized we needed to kick it up a notch.  You see, if you’re in elementary school and you’ve got a summer birthday…you get to celebrate your half birthday in school.  Special birthday chair.  Special lunch in the classroom with the teacher and a friend.  Special treats.  Special song.  Special class birthday book to document your day in. Special Day all-around.

Drew has always been an amazing kid.  Passionate.  Smart.  Sensitive.  Competitive.  And, at five-and-a-half, those qualities have only intensified.  Nothing exemplifies that more than how he has handled his half birthday.  He’s the youngest kid in his class (and i’d be willing to bet the youngest kid in his school…but…shh!! don’t tell him.  this really troubles him.) and one of the shortest (this bothers him too…poor dude. i am truly sorry.).  But, there is no doubt in my mind that he has also got to be one of the most thoughtful in his class.

You see, Drew’s true half birthday was on February 21, 2012.  But, that was the date of a classmate’s actual sixth birthday.  So, Drew asked us if he could celebrate his half birthday on the 22^nd instead – since “the 21^st is Anna’s real birthday and we should each have our own special day”.  When I asked his teacher, she said “Of course Drew would think of that!  And, of course he can celebrate on the 22^nd.”  I honestly don’t think Drew was being selfish in wanting his own day (and, if he was, can you blame him?).  I really believe he wanted Anna to have her own day – you should not have to share your actual birthday.  And, it was “just” his half birthday after all.  It’s this type of sensitivity and thoughtfulness that continues to amaze me and bring a smile to my face.  I love that he thinks of things like this…and has the confidence to ask for what he wants.

Drew also struggled with whom to share his special lunchtime with.  Drew has been chosen by other classmates a number of times.  And, for the past few weeks when we’d ask if he knew who he was going to pick he would answer “I’m still thinking about it.”  He seriously put a lot of thought into this decision.  Damon and I wondered if it was going to be one of the kids that had previously chosen him or one of the boys that he plays football with during recess.  Never had it really crossed our mind that it would be a girl.  But, earlier this week when we pressed him to tell us who he had narrowed his choice down to.  He gave us the name of two girls and told us which one he was leaning towards.  When we asked why, he said “because she hasn’t had a turn.  Nobody has chosen her yet” – a fact that he had observed all on his own.  What makes the story even sweeter, I think, is that at decision-time it came down to a Guatemalan adoptee and an Asian – neither of which Drew thought had ever been picked.  I will not allow myself to think about reasons why these two girls have yet to be chosen (or my worrying about Leo’s future will intensify).  But, I will allow myself to believe that once again the gift of adoption keeps on giving.  I will believe that a world of difference has been made to my very wise, very compassionate, very sensitive, very worldly five-and-a-half year old kindergartener….simply because of the make-up of our family.  He’s taking our “normal” and spreading it throughout his classroom.  And, that makes me very, very proud.  [or, maybe I am reading way too much into things and he’s simply serious about his requests for a sister and just wanted to spend sometime with a girl to see what it would be like. that’s cool too.]

(Drew indeed ended up picking one of those girls and had a great lunch.  The girl he chose is a GREAT reader (as Drew has mentioned on more than one occasion) – something Drew longs to be.  So, besides eating and talking with the teacher…they also played a reading card game.   “AWESOME!” was how Drew described his Birthday Day at school.  I thank Drew’s teacher for that.  She has done an amazing job all year making school and learning fun, memorable and special.  What an impact this year will have on the years of schooling ahead.  Drew is so lucky.)

While we had not really planned on a “big” celebration for Drew’s half birthday, a big birthday bag from school changed all that.  The bag had about five books to read about birthdays and a big three ring binder with sheets for each classmate to share their birthday celebrations.  Each sheet needed to be filled out that night with what they did to celebrate – including a drawn picture – and be presented to the class the next morning.  We couldn’t send Drew to school with some lame non-celebration.  So, after a quick dinner at home, we went out for dessert to celebrate Drew’s half birthday.  We headed to the new restaurant in town…quickly giving up our new “date place”…and enjoyed some yummy treats as a family.  Drew thought the place was kinda “fancy” and I think the boys really felt important there.  That’s the point, right?  Drew got the big birthday cupcake which was topped off with an awesome celebratory sparkler.  The rest of us enjoyed some ice cream and apple-walnut crisp.  It was all delicious.  Aside from making a yummy dessert decision, Drew also displayed his curiosity and confidence by asking the waitress for a tour of the kitchen (they said no – but let us peek in) and then later asked for a kid’s fork for his brother.  I was so proud of him for once again politely and confidently speaking up for what he wanted.  He’s growing up so fast!

not scared...goofy!

Our evening at the restaurant ended sitting in big cozy, leather club chairs by a gorgeous stone fireplace listening to great live music.  Leo was mesmerized by the musician strumming his guitar and singing, among other things, Brown Eyed Girl…with my alternate lyrics of “my brown eyed boy” whispered in his ear.  Drew looked so comfortable and relaxed just lounging and taking it all in – looking very much just 5.5 sitting in the big chair…but yet also looking wise beyond his years when I caught a glimpse of his beautiful blue eyes starring off dreaming of who-knows-what.  And, when both boys climbed on Damon’s lap…I wanted time to freeze.  Tears swelled and I felt an enormous amount of pride – those are my boys…that’s my family…lucky, lucky, lucky me!  It was one of those unexpected moments that make an ordinary weekday night something extraordinary.  Moments that will be forever imprinted in my brain and my heart.  It was an evening that reminded me that life is short…and that we should make and take every opportunity we can to celebrate even little mundane things in life.  Half birthday celebrations are here to stay at All Accounted Four.  You should start the tradition as well…we promise you will not regret it.

Until next time…go turn the ordinary into the extraordinary with a little celebration.

previously at all accounted four

curious as to what we were up to over the past five months…no need to be anymore!

kindergarten.

despite all my worry and stress around when to send drew to kindergarten, getting him into the everyday program and adjusting to school life, things are going pretty darn good.  drew has an amazing teacher. he loves being part of an advanced math “team”.  he’s on the very verge of a serious reading break-through – i am already so impressed with all the words he’s already reading! he made the coolest christmas gift in art class – a beautiful and functional green clay bell. he has made a lot of new friends…and lives to play football on recess.  and, if chicken patty is on the hot lunch menu…he has to have it!

heading into kindergarten open house

drew and his crazy-fun teacher

first day of school

family day.

kindergarten started on september 6^th…and the next day we celebrated the first anniversary of being a family of four.  some call this Gotcha Day or Family Day.  we are still looking for a term that fits our family.  no doubt, this day is super duper special day.  but, quite honestly, we found it a little difficult and awkward to celebrate.  we all understand that leo officially joined our family on a day other than the day he was born.  but, yet, it’s still hard to explain or justify why leo gets another whole day for him with gifts and cake and attention.  i did my research…looking up and checking out how other people celebrate this important day.  a special korean meal.  gifts of korean heritage or adoption related given.  paying respects to birthparents and foster parents.  but nowhere did i find a resource for how to celebrate a “gotcha day” for families that have both biological and adopted children.  for me, it’s a tricky day to celebrate.  do not get me wrong, i really don’t what to lose sight of the importance of this day for leo…i just want to make sure we also celebrate it in a way that recognizes both my sons…of us as a family - all accounted four.

we still need to find that balance and come up with our own traditions for this day.  hopefully by this september 7^th, we’ll have thought of something really good.  as for 2011…we took a picture.  we ate cake.  chocolate cake.  and, most importantly, we were happy to be eating it together.

that was one yummy cake

school pictures.

this fall we sent both the boys to school one morning looking handsome and ready for pictures…hoping and praying they still looked good by the time it was time for pictures to be taken.  they turned out better than ok, don’t ya think??

dallas.

in early october, i did the unthinkable…i took a spur of the moment, last-minute solo trip to dallas, texas to hang out with my college roommate and cheer on the detroit tigers during american league championship series.  those that really know me understand how out of character that was for me.  it was too spontaneous.  but, i decided to go…and the next morning before the sun was up, I was on my way to the airport.   i still cannot believe i went!! but i am so glad i did…even if the tigers lost the first game in the POURING rain (oh, the rain delays) and I missed game two due to postponement due to rain.  it was so great to see kristen and re-connect.  thanks, again, kristen for helping make this wonderful trip possible!!

fall break.

after two road trips to the cottage already under our belt for the year, we thought “what the heck! let’s do it again!” so, we packed up the vehicle and made the 10 hour road trip.  it was the first time the boys (damon, drew, and leo) had been to the cottage in the fall…and it was just beautiful!  while we couldn’t go swimming, we still had a lot of fun while there running on the beach, playing baseball, riding bikes, playing in the leaves, going to the zoo, shopping and hitting some brew pubs.  but, i think best of all, damon and i got a whole evening out to celebrate our anniversary.  it was perfect.  absolutely perfect.

hockey.

i am officially a hockey mom! (i’ve even got a button to prove it.)

drew has been enjoying hockey immensely…and i seriously cannot believe how much his skating has improved in just a few short months.  jumping over the blue line, skating on one foot, stopping without “superman-ing” onto the ice, learning to skate backwards…there is no doubt he is now a better skater than i am!

#4...my self proclaimed defenseman

not wanting to leave the arena...even after a 2 hour practice

thanksgiving.

call us crazy, but we made a fourth trip to michigan over thanksgiving break. this time we made it to detroit…and we flew.  we were the picture perfect, happy and experienced traveling family – until we had to circle and circle and circle detroit before landing…it was during that time that leo’s terrible screaming two’s came out in full force.  and, to be honest…so did my tears. passengers did not like us – oh, those stares. and the flight attendants threw FAA regulations out the window – sitting down, trays up, seat belts…no need!!  good times.  luckily, the flight home was much more uneventful.

it was good to be “home” for thanksgiving. and, really good to finally meet little jjb!!  jj is just the sweetest and cutest little baby boy – we just love our nephew/cousin!

we ate A LOT in Detroit…i felt like every fb status update was about the great eating or drinking establishment we were at.  besides my mom’s fabulous cooking (there’s not a better Thanksgiving dinner), we got to eat my all-time favorite pizza (twice); we enjoyed a yummy coney island breakfast (twice); damon and i started a date night at a highly recommended korean restaurant – which i still find myself craving; and a trip of ours to michigan would not be complete without stopping in at a couple microbreweries (as one of damon’s beer club members said, upon seeing yet another beer related fb post from michigan, “you guys take the best vacations!” – the people at Pure Michigan would be so pleased to hear that!).  yet, i feel like there are even more places we could have gone to eat while there – we totally missed greek town, mexican village and our favorite polish place.  next time.

besides eating and drinking we did a lot of fun stuff…built marble runs, checked out my elementary school playground, went to a Whalers hockey game, cheered on a friend’s son at his youth basketball game (way to go Luke!), braved the cold and enjoyed the balloons, floats, bands, and clowns at the detroit thanksgiving day parade, had fun learning at two of our favorite museums – the Henry Ford and the Ann Arbor Hands-On, played euchre with an incredible couple we are so blessed to call our friends, introduced my gymnastics coach to my family (while the boys jumped in the pits and swung on the bars), and really just enjoyed hanging out and relaxing with my side of the family.

christmas trees and santa’s preferred mode of transportation.

we love kicking off the christmas season with a trip to our favorite tree farm. thousands of trees to choose from, kettle corn to eat, carriage rides to take, hot dogs to roast, a big straw fort and maze to play in, and the arrival of santa claus – by helicopter.  [to this day, when leo sees a helicopter he points and shouts “santa!”.  at least he knows it’s santa now, for the first two weeks of December he was calling santa “noah”.]

so…there you have it…phew!

All Accounted Four is all caught up.

until next time…

where the story really started

one of the most difficult things about any adoption journey is lack of information...be it about when you'll get a referral, how long it will be until you can hold your child, how all the paperwork is being processed, how your child is growing and being cared for, your child's birth parents and their life and circumstances, or your child's family medical history.


way back in may of 2010 we were presented a gift...the possibility of the opportunity to learn, firsthand, more about where leo's life began.  WOW!!  (click to read) aptly describes what we were feeling at the time.  and WOW!! still seems appropriate today.  we were given such a wonderful gift - the chance to travel to the city leo was born...to talk to the people who cared for leo's birth mom...to see where she lived...and to gain further insight into the culture and way of life of leo's birth families.  when we realized that we could actually do this, it was like a dream come true.  and, today it still feels like an amazing gift.  we are so glad we ventured out of seoul to see the place...the actual place...where leo's life began.  it's huge for us...and, i know it will be huge for leo when he's older.


despite how happy we are with having gone to busan, the trip down there was not exactly what we had planned.  last minute changes had us travel down there the same day we met leo - our first day in korea.  we would have liked to have been more prepared for the meeting (in terms of prepared questions, activities to entertain drew, and in hindsight, should have hired a translator). and, we would have liked more time there to check out the infamous beaches, the aquarium, and other shopping districts and markets.  but, in the end, all that really matters is that we got to explore more of leo's story.  what we did see and hear, we loved.  and, cannot wait to go back.


[i just pray to god that our lack of preparation, jet-laggedness (if that's a word), and wild child did not put a big stop on allowing other families after us the opportunity to travel to 'mo sung won'.  i hope they liked us.  i hope they understood that we were there because we care...really care...about leo and his birth mom.  i hope they know that the time we spent with them was absolutely priceless to us.  i hope that know how grateful we are.]

from the three & counting blog, 9/2/2010:

Korea: Day One - the day we met Leo (part 2)

After we said goodbye to Leo and his Foster Mom, it was time for us to continue our Korean adventure.


Chapter 3 - Busan, back to the beginning
We learned from the agency staff that Busan was not affect by the typhoon and that our trip there could continue.  Up until the night before we left home, we thought we'd be going to Busan on Friday the 3rd and be able to spend the entire day there.  Plans changed.  We'd take the 11:40am fast train out of Seoul Station and arrive in Busan at 2:20pm.  At 3:00pm, staff from 'Mo Sung Won' would pick us up and take us to the campus that Leo's birth-mom stayed at and delivered Leo.  And, we'd head back to Seoul that evening in time to be back to our hotel around 10pm.

We got to Seoul Station, got our tickets and enjoyed a delicious lunch of New York hot dogs (Damon's at least had bulgogi on it) and strawberry smoothies while waiting for our train to depart. It was Drew's first train ride and it was obvious he was very excited.  He talked really loud and could hardly sit still.  Trains are not like planes.  Traveling on a train is like sitting in the quietest library you can imagine.  Drew's loudness stressed me out.  I so did not want to be the loud and rude Americans with a bratty kid.  I so wanted him to nap so that the odds would be in our favor that he'd be good and patient at 'Mo Sung Won'.  He did not nap.

Other than Drew really just being a kid and most likely annoying the other passengers, we really enjoyed the trip down to Busan.  Seeing the some of the Korean countryside drew me even closer to this beautiful country.  With the mountains and green vegetation, Damon even commented that it reminded him of Hawaii.  I totally agree.

Busan is the 4th largest port city in the world.  The city is built into the mountains.  We loved it instantly.  The city kinda reminded us of a huge, European-like, warm climate Duluth.  Or, something like that.  We had a bit of time to spare before being met to go to 'Mo Sung Won' so we just hung out at the big fountain by the train station.  While hanging out there Drew drew the attention of many older Koreans...smiles, pats on the head, and high fives.  He was a good sport about it all and suddenly my own annoyance with his behavior on the train disappeared.

At 3:00pm we were picked up and taken to 'Mo Sung Won' by the director and her intern, who kindly translated for us.  Her English was a million times better than my Korean, but often it was still difficult and we were lost in translation.  We were told before we left home that we'd get to meet some staff and get a tour of the campus.  (The campus was HUGE!  Not only is 'Mo Sung Won' a mother's home, but it is a full service social welfare organization with schools, housing, hospital, etc.  It was an impressive sight tucked up in the mountain side.)  Well, as you can guess, things did not go as we thought.  We were taken to a hot and humid small room with a table and six chairs and not much of anything else.  The director, her intern and the head nun (Sister Monica) were basically just there to answer any questions we had.  Oh how I wish I had prepared some questions!!!  And, Drew.  He was not a happy camper...not much sleep in 2 days...in a hot room with no toys...whining, pouting, pushing the roller chair around the room.  It was a sight to see.  I thougt for sure they were going to call Seoul and put a stop to our adoption due to our obvious poor parenting skills.  I tried to be funny - "I have no idea how I am going to handle two boys....please pray for me!" (Sister Monica just rolled laughing...that means she'll pray, right?).  And, I explained our recent travels of basically a 24 hour travel day for Drew with no sleep.  We talked for about 45 minutes.  And then Sister Monica offered to show us the room Leo's birth mom had stayed in.  We went upstairs and took a few pictures and then headed down stairs to leave.  It was a short visit - but an important one for us.  We have the beginning of Leo's story...even if it's not the specifics of his birth mom and situation...and that will go miles in helping Leo understand who he is and where he comes from when he's older.

Since we didn't have too much time before heading back to Seoul, our tourist options were limited.  But, the staff recommended that we go to Busan Tower and the infamous fish market.  So, that's exactly what we did. Those two places gave us a wonderful insight into the city and its people.

As soon as we started up the path to Busan tower I put Drew into the carrier - it was more than obvious that he was way beyond tired.  He fell asleep almost instantly...and that gave Damon and I a few hours for a "date" with Drew strapped to my back.  We loved exploring a little part of Leo's birth city...it was a great way to spend the day after just meeting him.

(Drew slept...and slept...and slept.  He does not remember much of Busan, the train ride home from Busan, or the taxi ride to our hotel.  And he continued to sleep for about a total of 10 hours.  Wish I could get 10 hours these days!!)

So...here is Busan...through our eyes...we hope we captured it well...enjoy!

in seoul station ready for busan

first train ride...with daddy & a strawberry smoothie

see all those white building - they're what drew calls 'lego city'

welcome to busan

the statue that greeted us coming out of the train station. pretty cool!

the room leo's birth mom stayed in with another woman
(i don't think we were supposed to go in, oops!)

with sister monica at 'mo sung won'
(on the bulletin board are pics of birth moms and all the activities they do while there)

looking up at part of  'mo sung won' - all the buildings with blue roofs

heading up to busan tower

still heading up busan tower!
(this climb should really be on the amazing race)

from the base of busan tower
(which is as high as we went)

fishing supplies

that's a lot of fish!

part of the harbor

you name it- clams, octopus, muscles, all kinds of fish

on the public walkway in front of the fish market

still sleeping at a cafe in busan station

{{i love busan}}

Until next time...hanging out in our temporary neighborhood circa 2010